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Thread: The Official Nerf Application Form.... Please fill in as needed

  1. #1
    Forum All-Star cleggy's Avatar
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    NERF APPLICATIONS

    Were you beaten by a stratergy? Did someone do that thing where they drop a queen and healers and smash your base? Or worse yet.. Did they do that thing where they use those blue bowling thugs to terrorise you innocent villagers? This shouldnt happen, no one should be allowed to use such things.
    Dont worry though! Your injustice suffered will be heard! Use the below form.


    Dear Supercell

    i am a m/f and I specialise in ____________
    or i have a degree in ____________. (Its ok if you dont have one, make it up)


    Recently i lost a raid and i am very sad, because i have _____<--(insert qualifications) and i feel you have made an error in programming judgement.
    to offset my deep and overwhelming dissatisfaction in losing said raid i would formally like to request you remove/Nerf___________
    Now please give us a brief (and hopefully grossly embellished version) description of how you lost.
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________. (Look at that.... 3 lines. Yes let your tears and heatache flow my friend)


    Any other comments? ________________________ <---a good opportunity to tell supercell how you have played for 8 years and spent $99,999 and have a right to say what goes on.

    Now to finish.
    if you do not meet my request i will be quiting forever and the game will fall apart without me.

    signed:__________(insert name) (also feel free to state qualifications again)
    __________________________________________________ ____________________________________

    Basic complaint forms
    (Eg: how dare you make me pay full price for boosting/ lootcart stinks/eagle artillery duz 3x damagez now? )



    Dear supercell
    i have this complaint :__________________________blah bla... I mean, and so on...

    my solution__________________________ (Lets be honest no one will use this bit)

    now a multiple selection box to how you want this complaint to be handled please mark x
    [ ] listen to me and make the changes
    [ ]talk to me about this
    [ ] it really doesnt need anything done im just upset my favorite cartoons wernt on this morning and theres no poptarts either
    [ ]just acknowledge you have seen my tears
    [x]do nothing at all, no reply, no contact, as my complaint is probably invalid/biased (pre marked for convenience)


    I Quit template
    When ever i have quit games in the past, ive always felt it necessary to join a forum talking about the game and make my exit known to others. Its just a general courtesy.
    thats what this little beauty is for.

    Dear Diary... I mean Dear supercell...
    You have made a grave mistake in changing the game.... I am your number one player, i have all the memorabilia and i am currently the number one player in the world when it comes to:
    [ ] pushing
    [ ] war. (Just kidding, this isn't a real category... Sorry to break it to you)
    [ ] farming (j
    ust kidding, this also isn't a real category... )
    [ ] most obstacles removed ( a more recognisable achievement then farming or war)
    [x] all of the above (Obviously your the best at everything, or you quiting would mean nothing...right?)

    This is where you went wrong: start with something like... When i first played back in the spring of 92" things were different
    __________________________________________________ _____
    __________________________________________________ _____

    I dont care if you change it back or not. Im sad and everyone else is too because i speak for the majority. We all quit.
    now make a crack about their pr skills (or lack of), money grabbing greed and or bad programming (if you choose the bad programming please ensure to include your own self taught qualifications in astrophysics and quantum mechanics etc)

    you've change supercell
    your not who i went to sleep with last night.
    I dont know what to believe anymore.

    Sincerely
    disappointed



    spam form
    >%#<>%#<> insert korean spam here%#^}<>~#^#<~imalovedoctorspecialist2728((:;/&$@
    (just for when your mad and spam is the only answer)




    Engineered bases stole my mail and kicked my dog!
    Or at least thats how i feel emotionaly when i get beaten by them in war.


    Dear Supercell,

    The 10 other threads on page one of general claiming to be related on this subject are obviously not the same as this one i am about to post.
    I know for a fact nobody has brought this issue up before because i have not posted it myself, therefore all other posts relating to this are irrelevant/invalid.

    recently we were embarrassed to lose because__________________________and______________ _______________
    (This is where you tell us how the one guy on the other team without xbows made it unfair)
    They had __x___ amount of TH __xx__ comepare with our
    __x___ amount of TH __xx__ (no need to mention any advantages you may have had because of the way this worked out, if you lost, it was obviously only because it was unfair)

    We all attacked our mirror and we still lost? How can this be fair or right?
    It cant! Which leads me to my point....
    Anyone who is not 100% maxed is cheating!

    I hereby order you to cease allowing this direct injustice befalling me to carry on.

    here are my suggestions to fix said issue:
    • Make them have some sort of disadvantage (like in multiplayer raids and stuff...)
    • Make their bases useless for anything but war.
    • Stop them from been able to push for cups
    • Ban all bases not 100% maxed.
    • All of the above.


    If you do not take immediate action our "elite clan" full of the most elite th7-9s will be quiting forever and your game will die.
    Im not kidding! I mean it! We will do it!

    Sincerely
    "Elite clans"

    MAXED BASES ARE WORSE THEN GLOBAL WARMING!
    Are you as sick of maxed bases as me? They are ruining the game! How dare they try to match with my engineered base and take an easy win! Thats not fair nor is it right! I didnt just engineer a th11 with fully maxed offense for the purpose of taking someone with the same offensive power so that they could flatten me... I made this account so i could use my OP troops on those weaker then myself! #maxanger



    Dear Supercell,

    Recently I, a member of an elite clan came to a sudden realisation that you are treating us unfairly!
    We have put a lot of effort in to making sure we win wars against people less experienced and weaker then ourselves and how are we rewarded?
    We are not! We have to suffer the effects of having no defense or walls when we go on defense in multiplayer....how is that fair?

    I hereby request you remove/nerf the need for us to have to go on defense in multiplayer.

    We are elite, and as such we are above any need to be on defense, we have already proved ourselves to be the best in every aspect of the game by smashing our opponents (a mostly th7/8 clan) with our fully maxed offensive troops so what need is there for multiplayer.... Everyone knows the main purpose of the game is war (how absurd that some people think war isnt the main purpose of the game, the fact it came out as a feature years after the game was released is irrelevant (thats why everyone only wars and doesn't EVER do multiplayer raids for loot.... Cups? Pffft, give me a low th to smash with my max troops anyday))


    Here is what I suggest you implement immediately.....

    • Nerf defense for us elite war mongers.
    • Nerf anyone who calls it unfair to abuse the system.
    • Nerf max bases (they are generally a bit too hard for us to hit)
    • Reformat War searches so we don't occasionaly find clans that are stronger then us.
    • Stop people talking about making engineering disappear (this scares us)



    We just want whats fair, so please make these injustices go away and we wont have to take our action any further...
    if you do not listen to us we vow to
    - Come on the forums and belittle anyone who disagrees with us.
    - Call everyone who doesnt engineer a noob.
    - Assert our authority as the best clashers out there.

    Supercell... You have 24 hours to meet our demands... Or else...

    Sincerely
    All "Mega Elite Clans"


    BUILDERS HALL COMPLAINT FORM.

    Did you recently return to your beloved tropical island to find a preposterous and unwelcome boat sitting in your waters?
    did you wonder: where did the boat come from? Why is it here? Who the heck built the jetty?
    All valid concerns.
    As curious as a cat that is locked out of a room, you got on the boat only to find a smaller less enthralling version of your island, you disembarked to find a forest and nothing but darkness.
    You met the locals, a "master" builder and the slower cousins of your main islands troops that you had only seen in old family photos or on occasion at distance during the odd get together family doo.
    You try to make peace with the new situation and adapt a "when in Rome attitude", but quickly realise, theres a reason you never came to the island or heard of it before..

    So that brings us to the complaints, Here is a list of common complaints.
    tick as you see relevant and our department will be in touch with you.

    [ ] I don't like change, SC adding BH is like my wife taking my seat on the couch...emotional and psychological torment of the highest degree.
    [ ] I don't like there only being one builder... he is not particularly masterful as he says, and frankly quite sneaky, i see he even does cash jobs on the side and isn't declaring taxes.
    [. ] I haven't payed any money so im not winning, why do people that pay money get an advantage over us who don't pay anything... is there some sort of preferential treatment happening here? Feels like people pay for an advantage...
    [. ] My clocktower was working and now it seems to be broken, has the builder been at it again?
    [. ] Every base is the same, which should make it easy to win, but Ai is so bad that it's a complete gamble with every raid executed as to the outcome.
    [. ] All of the above

    If the above doesn't cover your concerns,
    Please tell us in detail whats wrong with BH by writing your issue
    here:





    and we promise to compensate you and all who have suffered In a way that will please everyone! ***

    *** compensation and customer satisfaction not a promise***


    Just a sidenote for all, the engineering new are not so much request forms as they are more satirical... Dont take it too seriously
    Last edited by cleggy; July 10th, 2017 at 03:49 PM. Reason: reformat... More coming soon
    🌿🌿🌿👀🌿🌿🌿
    The official Nerf application just had it's newest addition... Bh complaints!
    https://forum.supercell.com/showthre...86#post6447286
    still a work in progress though..

  2. #2
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    You really don't do yourself justice, that form could be used for any number of complaints, doesn't have to be limited to nerfs.

  3. #3
    Forum All-Star cleggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JKL2207 View Post
    You really don't do yourself justice, that form could be used for any number of complaints, doesn't have to be limited to nerfs.
    You sir, are 100% correct.

    please feel free to edit and repost lol
    🌿🌿🌿👀🌿🌿🌿
    The official Nerf application just had it's newest addition... Bh complaints!
    https://forum.supercell.com/showthre...86#post6447286
    still a work in progress though..

  4. #4
    Forum All-Star cleggy's Avatar
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    Dear Supercell

    i am a m/f and I specialise in ____________
    or i have a degree in ____________. (Its ok if you dont have one, make it up)


    Recently i lost a raid and i am very sad, because i have _____<--(insert qualifications) and i feel you have made an error in programming judgement.
    to offset my deep and overwhelming dissatisfaction in losing said raid i would formally like to request you remove/Nerf/add/give me/refund me___________
    Now please give us a brief (and hopefully grossly embellished version) description of how you lost.
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________. (Look at that.... 3 lines. Yes let your tears and heatache flow my friend)


    Any other comments? ________________________ <---a good opportunity to tell supercell how you have played for 8 years and spent $99,999 and have a right to say what goes on.

    Now to finish.
    if you do not meet my request i will be quiting forever and the game will fall apart without me. (Official i quit applications will be coming soon)

    signed:__________(insert name) (also feel free to state qualifications again)

    edited version
    🌿🌿🌿👀🌿🌿🌿
    The official Nerf application just had it's newest addition... Bh complaints!
    https://forum.supercell.com/showthre...86#post6447286
    still a work in progress though..

  5. #5
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    Cool

    Dear Supercell

    i am a m and I specialise in trolling

    Recently i lost a raid and i am very sad, because it's fun to be sad sometimes and i feel you have made an error in programming judgement.
    to offset my deep and overwhelming dissatisfaction in losing said raid i would formally like to request you remove/Nerf samantha.

    Now please give us a brief:
    They are clapping at everything and it makes me angry and its so rude to clap at someones dead tombstone.
    They are cowards and too scared of a level 1 barbarian that get deployed in base (they just run to hide in Town Hall)
    I don't want them to steal everything from my obstacles, just let them be as the way they are


    Any other comments? I have been playing for 1 years and 2-3 months and spent $999,999 on this game so far (lol, not even a cent)

    Now to finish.
    if you do not meet my request i will be quiting forever and the game will fall apart without me. (Official i quit applications will be coming soon)

    signed: Adsl3 in forum aka XaraCyber in Clash of Clans


    More additional information about what i said at: http://forum.supercell.net/showthrea...a-%21%21%21%21
    Last edited by adsl3; January 21st, 2016 at 10:56 AM. Reason: typo

  6. #6
    Forum Legend Superfinch30's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleggy View Post
    Dear Supercell

    i am a m/f and I specialise in ____________
    or i have a degree in ____________. (Its ok if you dont have one, make it up)


    Recently i lost a raid and i am very sad, because i have _____<--(insert qualifications) and i feel you have made an error in programming judgement.
    to offset my deep and overwhelming dissatisfaction in losing said raid i would formally like to request you remove/Nerf/add/give me/refund me___________
    Now please give us a brief (and hopefully grossly embellished version) description of how you lost.
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________. (Look at that.... 3 lines. Yes let your tears and heatache flow my friend)


    Any other comments? ________________________ <---a good opportunity to tell supercell how you have played for 8 years and spent $99,999 and have a right to say what goes on.

    Now to finish.
    if you do not meet my request i will be quiting forever and the game will fall apart without me. (Official i quit applications will be coming soon)

    signed:__________(insert name) (also feel free to state qualifications again)

    edited version
    Gold.
    10 gold stars.

    TH10s with 50+ hero levels, 9.5s with 40+, silent noobs<> needs you!
    #2JVURUY.
    Maxed TH11 lvl204 17HH. 🏆 record 5639

  7. #7
    Forum All-Star cleggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adsl3 View Post
    Dear Supercell

    i am a m and I specialise in trolling

    Recently i lost a raid and i am very sad, because it's fun to be sad sometimes and i feel you have made an error in programming judgement.
    to offset my deep and overwhelming dissatisfaction in losing said raid i would formally like to request you remove/Nerf samantha.

    Now please give us a brief:
    They are clapping at everything and it makes me angry and its so rude to clap at someones dead tombstone.
    They are cowards and too scared of a level 1 barbarian that get deployed in base (they just run to hide in Town Hall)
    I don't want them to steal everything from my obstacles, just let them be as the way they are


    Any other comments? I have been playing for 1 years and 2-3 months and spent $999,999 on this game so far (lol, not even a cent)

    Now to finish.
    if you do not meet my request i will be quiting forever and the game will fall apart without me. (Official i quit applications will be coming soon)

    signed: Adsl3 in forum aka XaraCyber in Clash of Clans


    More additional information about what i said at: http://forum.supercell.net/showthrea...a-%21%21%21%21
    Love it... Lol
    🌿🌿🌿👀🌿🌿🌿
    The official Nerf application just had it's newest addition... Bh complaints!
    https://forum.supercell.com/showthre...86#post6447286
    still a work in progress though..

  8. #8
    Pro Member Syr1nax's Avatar
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    ♥♥♥!!!! Much too polite!!!!! How can you have a decent rant using a form letter
    OP MUST BE NERFED!!!!!
    IGN: Syr1nax TH: 10 Level: 119
    CW: 703 stars Clan: LeCoc

  9. #9
    Forum Elder TheRealGinngie's Avatar
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    Dear Supercell,

    i am a not answering the gender question because you might find out where I live and I specialize in making mommy proud.
    I have a degree, it's a PhD(Passed Highschool with Difficulty) and I got it when I lived in the White House, 3rd room on the top floor right next to that weird shrub.


    Recently i lost a raid and i am very sad, because i have always won at least a participation medal; and i feel you have made an error in programming judgement.
    To offset my deep and overwhelming dissatisfaction in losing said raid i would formally like to request you remove the feature that takes away my trophies.
    Now please give us a brief description of how you lost.
    So I was sitting in my 4 bedroom/3bath bedroom when i decided to play Clash of Clans. After spending what seemed like a small loan of a million dollars, I was able to gem my army ready and fight the good fight. I was searching and searching until I found a 69+ trophy offer! The sippy cup fell right out of my mouth. Next thing I know, I've deployed all 8 golems down but nothing happened and I lost the raid and my dignity.

    Any other comments?
    Look I've been playing this game since Windows 98 came out. I've got more experience in this game than before you even thought of it. Also my Mommy says I've spent to much money on this game and I need to stop using her credit card when she is not around. Nonetheless I will always find it because I know she hides it behind my participation medal for breathing. Sorry to go on a tangent but I really feel like I'm giving solid advice.

    Now to finish.
    if you do not meet my request i will be quiting forever and the game will fall apart without me. (Official i quit applications will be coming soon)

    signed:
    Ginngie,
    CEO: Crying on Everything i Own
    Quote Originally Posted by Noguy5 View Post
    Such evidence. Much proof. Absolute jester. Many logic.
    Quote Originally Posted by brandonpj21 View Post
    sad emotion equals scum
    Quote Originally Posted by MommySnooks View Post
    I have a theory that Rai was so kerfuffled about not reading Ginn correctly that it threw him off the rest of the game.
    Quote Originally Posted by cloudy2 View Post
    If ANYBODY OTHER THAN COP USES THIS CLAIM I WILL KILL YOU iN YOUR SLEEP


  10. #10
    Forum All-Star cleggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Syr1nax View Post
    ♥♥♥!!!! Much too polite!!!!! How can you have a decent rant using a form letter
    OP MUST BE NERFED!!!!!
    Please refer to the format above for requesting nerfs
    have some damn order man! Lol
    🌿🌿🌿👀🌿🌿🌿
    The official Nerf application just had it's newest addition... Bh complaints!
    https://forum.supercell.com/showthre...86#post6447286
    still a work in progress though..

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