Table of Contents
1. What are noobs in general?
2. CoC noobs
3. Useful information about CoC noobs
4. How CoC noobs effect us
5. How you could defend against CoC noobs
6. Conclusion
Note: If you think this is stupid, don't comment in this thread but just keep your thoughts to yourself.
1. What are noobs in general?
Noobs, or known as Noobinferiousstupidilus by scientists, are a special type, but not a different race, of humans with especially low intelligence in some sort of activity and posses a immature behavior revolving around the fact of the thought that they are right and others are wrong. This article is focused on CoC noobs due to their differences of other noobs and that CoC is a game that is played by millions, thus having a lot of noobs in the community.
2. CoC Noobs
CoC noobs are a special type of noobs that are active in the game Clash of Clans. Just like the turtles of the Galápagos Islands, the noobs in CoC have special evolved to be a noob in the harsh habitat of CoC. Here are the types of noobs that are the most of quantity in CoC:
- Base noobs: A noob with horrible base design, it is bad for your eyes and may require treatment if seen.
- Global Chat noobs: The most dreaded of all CoC noobs, always beware them when entering the global chat.
- Gemmer noob: A noob who has level 3 infernos... but doesn't have even level 3 walls. Usually a kid who got hold of a parent's credit card.
- Hopper noob: A person who hops clans asking for a archer queen or curses then leaves.
There are much, much more types of noobs, but we have to move on.
3. Useful information about CoC noobs
In this section, there are some useful things to know about CoC noobs.
3.1. Habitat
There are many habitats of CoC noobs. Basically any place related to CoC can be a habitat, but here are some places that you should look out for:
- The Global Chat: A place with a giant family of noobs, they lurk around the chat then strike us when unexpected
- The Forums: For people who's first post is about nerfing hogs, he or she is 100 percent a noob. Beware and prepare!
- The sub 200 trophy range: If you think people that you raid for collectors have bad bases, good luck going down to the sub 200 range, homeland of all base noobs. Get ready to facepalm...
3.2. Means of defense
As we prey on these noobs by teaching them good, they defend themselves desperately to keep their noob ways. He are some of them that they use:
- The Report Button: The most used defense of noobs, don't ♥♥♥♥ off but just take a break.
- Claming to be famous: The most desperate means of defense, of course you shouldn't believe it a bit.
- Threatening to kill/stalk you: Most of these are fake, but by chance if it is true stay calm and call the police.
4. How CoC noobs effect us
In this section, I will explain the cons of noobs and the pros of noobs on how they effect us:
- Pros
1. They make horrible bases that you can easily get dat monie from
2. They make you realize how un noobish you are compared to them
3. It gives you someone to lecture on like your school teacher does to you. Sweet revenge on someone else.
- Cons
1. Makes you facepalm, thus ruining your skin and stuff
2. Lowers quality of gameplay overall
3. Creates fights and disputes in a community
5. How you could defend against CoC noobs
Tired of noobs asking for Barbarian Kings? Tired of them calling you stupid for putting your town hall outside? Don't you just want to smash them on the head with a barbarian? There are no needs for these violent thoughts and actions, as defense is the best offense. In this section you can learn some means of defense:
1. Ignoring them: Just let them do their foolish deeds, and eventually they will lean something
2. Treat them as a peer that is just kinda stupid:
If you treat them as a noob, they will get more defensive and you will end up getting reported or banned. Instead treat noobs as a peer that required some 'help'. By doing this you will open their stubborn hearts and make them learn.
3. The opposite of number 2:
Don't like to be a helper to those sad, sad beings? Then use the classic way of force. Punish them with wise words so that they will never be a noob again. Of course by doing this there is a higher risk of a report, but at least you tried.
6. Conclusion
No matter what everyone does, there will always be noobs. However by having knowledge of them you can control the number of noobs and teach them the good side of the force. I hope you learned a lot from this article, and I hope to see you again... on global chat maybe, punishing noobs together.
Thanks, Geronimosemiro signing off!
Originally Posted by DokuganR
