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Thread: How to train your dragon

  1. #1
    Senior Member SillyS's Avatar
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    How to train your dragon

    Note to mods - this is a tongue-in-cheek guide to dragon raids. It contains useful tips, but is written to amuse readers who have used dragons. I didn't know where to post it. Apologies in advance if I did anything wrong.

    How to train your dragon.

    Developed with help from my fabulous clanmates and anyone else who cares to help.

    Ever had that moment when you got a 97% one star? The only building left standing was that juicy town hall right in the middle of their base?

    Ever noticed that during war, or when you are trophy hunting, dragons have a town hall anti-magnet?

    And if you are going for the loot, those dragons go straight for the town hall and avoid most of the loot?

    Well this is the guide for you!

    First things first - get your mindset right. Dragons are mindreaders. That's right. They read your mind. But like the evil witch, they don't like to use their powers for good. Dragon's natural inclination is to do the opposite of what you want them to.

    That's why it's so important to train your dragon properly. A well trained dragon is too scared of you to do the wrong thing.

    Second, you need to understand the dragon better. Dragons have an ego the size of Australia, and then some. Antarctica maybe? You can work with this.

    Third, once you have your mindset right, put on whatever face and clothes you need to scare your dragon. What might scare the average human being is not sufficient. To date, through many experiments we have found that lycra is the best possible clothing to wear while using dragons. Don't believe me? You won't find better dragon raids this side of a coc screen than a certain Handsome Waffle's drag raids. And we all know he lives in lycra, cycling, running,... But you might not look as good in lycra as Handsome Waffle, so do feel free to experiment and find your own thing.

    Fourth step is to train your rage spells. The idea is to get your dragons so enraged that they forget everything else but breath fire of death over enemy. Some people mistakenly think dragons need healing. This is a common urban myth propagated by well-meaning "make love not war" types. Ignore them. Dragons are nasty, angry things and work best when angry. Trying to make them feel good just makes them laugh harder as you. Ever tried to laugh and breathe fire at the same time? Yes. Well now you know why healing spells don't work.

    Fifth step is to watch dragon raids. Dragons are like pekkas, they love to circle the base, pacing around it like the kids who mock the lions behind bars at the zoo. Dragons like upsetting people - they see this as a win. Not what you wanted them to do? Even better. They will feel like they got two birds with one stone. The whole clan is riding on you getting another star in wars? Dragons will do everything they dragonly can to upset you all.

    Sixth step is to put them in place and in an order where they CANNOT disobey you. Some dos and don'ts
    A. Don't put them all down together in one go.
    B. Do use v shapes and short lines to direct them.
    C. Do use rage spells on air defenses and high damage items such as cc troops and town hall.
    D. Do run your thoughts past your clanmates before you attack.
    E. ABOVE ALL ELSE never ever ever mix ground troops with dragons. The dragons will be busy being insulted that you put inferior ground troops on the same battle field as them. If you commit this rookie error, don't be surprised if they take their revenge on you by killing your own troops.
    Last edited by SillyS; May 25th, 2014 at 04:04 AM.
    Proud Leader of the awesome bunch of peeps known as Colossal waffle(click for more info)
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    Can't get that pesky dragon to do what you want? Try this
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  2. #2
    Millennial Club
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    Do another

    Do one on how to train a barb. They sometimes go off in one direciton and bam. Campfire. Ahhh yeah. He wants us to attack this campfire. Never mind that gold storage.

  3. #3
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    ♥♥♥♥. I love this. Great job. Keep it up. Do a whole series for troops with bad AI. Healer, Queen, P.E.K.K.A., etc...

  4. #4
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    im confused about the first 3 tips. but the last 3 are good! thanks!

  5. #5
    Forum Veteran pmhausen's Avatar
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    Great stuff - thanks.

    Patrick
    Highlander | KarlsruheUnited #2VR2CRCQ | TH 12 | BK 65 | AQ 65 | GW 40 | BH 9 | BM 30

    Just don't hold it that way. (Steve Jobs)
    Just play the game like it was intended to be played. (Supercell)
    Ceterum censeo navem deurendam.

  6. #6
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    pretty funny

    Clash royale: acc 1= lvl9 royal giant 2500+ trohpies
    acc 2= lvl8 hog 1900+ trophies

  7. #7
    Senior Member sisid27's Avatar
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    I thought this thread was related to the movie, but nah.... I haven't unlocked the dragon yet so...Bye?
    The Fire that Ends.....

  8. #8
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    Ahh tat was fun!

  9. #9
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    well done! just amazing

    haha that was actually useful and funny. well done!
    Last edited by PWNERvicky; June 9th, 2014 at 12:11 AM.

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  10. #10
    Centennial Club Cenedle's Avatar
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    Haha nice.

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