Originally Posted by
memerylane
Have you been feeling annoyed lately? Frustrated? Disappointed?
Do you repetitively press the lower right corner of your phone or tablet?
Do you often see visions of clouds covering and parting hundreds of times within only a few short minutes?
Do you find yourself staring at it for 10-15 minutes at a time with a game open, while not actually playing the game?
Have you felt like you wanted to throw your mobile device or quit a game that you used to enjoy greatly?
If so, you may be suffering from pressingnextulitis.
Pressingnextulitis is an insidious infection caused by a virus recently introduced to many phones and tablets called NLS. NLS invaded the game Clash of Clans in late 2013 and has wreaked utter havoc on the game's economy. Disastrously, authorities actually inoculated the game with the virus themselves in hopes of, allegedly, creating a more robust and profitable economy. NLS, as most of us know, has had the exact opposite effect, particularly for long-time, high-level players.
If you think you may have contracted pressingnextulitis, please read carefully. Do not try to fight the infection through increased investment of time and money. This is futile and will only create more frustration and disappointment. Do not seek guidance from the authorities either. The authorities, through the use of vague language and simple avoidance, have stubbornly denied that the virus is deleterious. They insist that it is beneficial and that everyone is healthy.
Clearly, this is not the case.
The treatment options are, however, quite simple:
1. Put your phone down. Stop wasting so much time pressing next to find crappy loot most of the time. You'll enjoy that extra hour during your day, trust me. And, since you're pressing next so much anyway, your gold farming/collecting probably won't end up taking a huge hit.
2. Keep complaining on these forums and on Facebook. Yes, it's annoying to the authorities and to other members here. But not as annoying and frustrating as pressingnextulitis itself. The authorities stated almost two months ago that they were potentially willing to admit that pressingnextulitis existed and was deleterious. Progress is slow, apparently, but continued and increased pressure should eventually yield a response.
3. Warn your friends to avoid pressingnextulitis by not starting to play Clash of Clans. Until the virus has been removed or reprogrammed, this game is absolutely not worthy of time or money investment. Plenty of other mobile games that can be played quickly and successfully for a few minutes at a time are better options.
This has been a public service announcement from CHE, Clashers for a Healthier Economy.
News Report!
