When I got the call several months ago to be your leader, I decided to prepare with the same intensity many of you have devoted to this game. So late last night, I drank two cans of Red Bull, snorted some Adderall, played a few hours of video games, and then opened my browser to write this message to you.
At Moe’s, we are here to have fun, so you won’t get shamed for not perfecting every attack. We all have day jobs at the nuclear power plant, so we get that not everyone can be a 6 pack god like stupid Flanders.
We only have three rules to live by at the tavern:
1. Be good to your fellow patrons.
2. If your light is green, you are expected to get both attacks in (or face Moe’s 🥾.
3. If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
As for the details:
🍻 We are U.S. based, but welcome those from across the globe.
🍻 You must speak English. If something goes wrong at the plant, we will blame the guy who can't speak English.
🍻We are clan level 3 and progressing quickly towards that troop upgrade bonus at level 5.
🍻Our war record is less than perfect. When we started this game we thought we had an appetite for destruction, but all we wanted was a club sandwich. We approach war in the same way - semi-serious, but always ending with a sandwich.
🍻Adults are preferred, but, like the Kwik-E-Mart, we accept adults and kids with fake IDs.
🍻 We have a few higher level players that consistently donate and a TH12 donation account for siege.
🍻Being a newer clan, we rely on donors. If you can donate max troops and sieges, we don't care how rushed you are. You're welcome to farm, play clan games, and play in CWL. You just will not be allowed in regular wars so we can continue to get good matches.
🍻 We run as many people as we can in CWL, so we try to give everyone a shot at the unavoidable reality that is the crushing defeat of a mismatch in CWL.
If this sounds enticing to you, then come on down to Moe’s, grab a Duff, kick back and clash. 🍺
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