I’ll admit I’m old but...

[MommySnooks]

Lol. Grumpy old men’s club. Can women join? I like to be nice, and consider myself a generally friendly person. Idk if everyone would universally agree with that, lol, but for the most part....

Simce this conversation looks to have gotten a bit philosophical, lol, maybe it’s still in line with the OP to discuss this here.

I just never know what to think anymore. You know, I was teased and bullied as a kid, in really mean ways, and obviously didn’t like it one bit. And I agree with fighting that, and defending those who can’t defend themselves. Imo, everyone regardless of age, deserves a measure of respect as a fellow human being sharing this planet and life. Respect can be earned for skill in certain fields, etc., but in a general sense, it should just “be”, you know?

People can lose my respect by being arrogant, egotistical jerks to others for no purpose other than they “can”, they feel like it, or even feel like they’re “entitled” to do so. I’ve met people who seem to think others have to “earn” their respect and until someone sufficiently impresses them in some way, they can treat that person like garbage. That attitude drives me crazy.

At the same time, though.... What happened to people having a bit of a sense of humour and being able to laugh at ourselves and each other sometimes? My Uncles are pretty quick-witted and they tease everybody, but they have everyone just in a state of constant giggles. Family and friends and coworkers (and clanmates) who get along well, seem to be able to do that, and no one gets “Offended” with a capital O, at every comment thrown their way.

Is this a generational thing? Or a relationship thing? Or what is it?

If someone who doesn’t know me crosses a personal line with me, I’ll tell them (because how would they know, otherwise) and ask them to stop. If they do, that’s showing some respect, and all is well. If they continue—knowing it bothers me, then it doesn’t go well, lol. So it depends on the motivation, I guess.

But I don’t get easily hurt or fly off the handle at the first thing anyone says, like it seems I see happening so often nowadays. There needs to be room for some forgiveness, and to stop automatically assuming everyone means whatever they say as some kind of a slight. Is that an unreasonable thing to ask of people? Does it just come with age? Am I just turning into a grumpy old lady? (I’m a Mom whose friends my age are having Grandkids now, so maybe I’m heading that way, lol.)

[BlindHaze]

ive often wondered how people can tell if people have been using multiple accounts. I mean, I know the mods have ways. But the average player.... not trying to be facetious. Genuinely curious. Also not sure if I’m even allowed to inquire about this..... maybe a pm would be safer? I don’t know....

I’ve had my suspicions in the past, but obviously only through circumstantial evidence. Both joined at the same time, both are regularly chatting to each other on a thread, both sent me a friend request within minutes of each other, both have similar posting styles etc. It’s enough to raise my suspicions but obviously I can’t prove anything.

[Kirky519]

Lol. Grumpy old men’s club. Can women join? I like to be nice, and consider myself a generally friendly person. Idk if everyone would universally agree with that, lol, but for the most part....

Simce this conversation looks to have gotten a bit philosophical, lol, maybe it’s still in line with the OP to discuss this here.

I just never know what to think anymore. You know, I was teased and bullied as a kid, in really mean ways, and obviously didn’t like it one bit. And I agree with fighting that, and defending those who can’t defend themselves. Imo, everyone regardless of age, deserves a measure of respect as a fellow human being sharing this planet and life. Respect can be earned for skill in certain fields, etc., but in a general sense, it should just “be”, you know?

People can lose my respect by being arrogant, egotistical jerks to others for no purpose other than they “can”, they feel like it, or even feel like they’re “entitled” to do so. I’ve met people who seem to think others have to “earn” their respect and until someone sufficiently impresses them in some way, they can treat that person like garbage. That attitude drives me crazy.

At the same time, though.... What happened to people having a bit of a sense of humour and being able to laugh at ourselves and each other sometimes? My Uncles are pretty quick-witted and they tease everybody, but they have everyone just in a state of constant giggles. Family and friends and coworkers (and clanmates) who get along well, seem to be able to do that, and no one gets “Offended” with a capital O, at every comment thrown their way.

Is this a generational thing? Or a relationship thing? Or what is it?

If someone who doesn’t know me crosses a personal line with me, I’ll tell them (because how would they know, otherwise) and ask them to stop. If they do, that’s showing some respect, and all is well. If they continue—knowing it bothers me, then it doesn’t go well, lol. So it depends on the motivation, I guess.

But I don’t get easily hurt or fly off the handle at the first thing anyone says, like it seems I see happening so often nowadays. There needs to be room for some forgiveness, and to stop automatically assuming everyone means whatever they say as some kind of a slight. Is that an unreasonable thing to ask of people? Does it just come with age? Am I just turning into a grumpy old lady? (I’m a Mom whose friends my age are having Grandkids now, so maybe I’m heading that way, lol.)

I absolutely believe it is a generational thing. People nowadays almost look for any excuse to be offended. Any time a culture is mentioned in any context, that’s racist. Anytime anything negative is said about a female, that’s sexist. We live in a world where anything can marry anything and it’s illegal to be a white man. (Quote from a tv show I thought was humorous) And it seems like if you don’t support a persons choices, then you are labeled as a sexist or a racist or what-have-you. Why can’t people just get along, and stop being so sensitive about everything. You can have your opinion, I can have mine. I don’t have to support something I don’t agree with, and neither do you. It’s our own business.

[Kirky519]

I’ve had my suspicions in the past, but obviously only through circumstantial evidence. Both joined at the same time, both are regularly chatting to each other on a thread, both sent me a friend request within minutes of each other, both have similar posting styles etc. It’s enough to raise my suspicions but obviously I can’t prove anything.

Ok that’s what I assumed it was based on. Makes sense.

[BlindHaze]

I absolutely believe it is a generational thing. People nowadays almost look for any excuse to be offended. Any time a culture is mentioned in any context, that’s racist. Anytime anything negative is said about a female, that’s sexist. We live in a world where anything can marry anything and it’s illegal to be a white man. (Quote from a tv show I thought was humorous) And it seems like if you don’t support a persons choices, then you are labeled as a sexist or a racist or what-have-you. Why can’t people just get along, and stop being so sensitive about everything. You can have your opinion, I can have mine. I don’t have to support something I don’t agree with, and neither do you. It’s our own business.

I love this post because it’s so true. I don’t want to tread the line of getting this thread closed, but I can take any abuse put my way. As an Englishman, I can accept being called a tea drinking, bad teethed, Queen knowing, Mediterranean holiday ruining football hooligan. It amuses me because to every stereotype there is an element of truth. We also assume that we don’t need to learn a foreign language (even though I speak French and German) because everyone else will learn English. One of the funniest ‘insults’ out there is that the French colloquially refer to us as ‘les rosbifs’. But yeah, I like roast beef.

You can also call me lanky (I’m 6’4”), greying, or any other insult due to my 1/4 German heritage... I don’t care... if it’s a clever insult, I’ll probably find it funny.

However, to even mention another group.... the ‘r’ word raises its head. *sigh*.

So thank you Kirky, it’s posts like this that remind me there is still some sanity in the world. Feigning offence on behalf of yourself or another group is being manipulated as social currency to shut others up. After all, if you can shut someone up, you’re in charge. Right...?

[Ajax]

To the OP - the only thing really wrong with this thread is that it should be in forum talk, rather than coc general, and I'll move it there in a minute.

To tye others - and some have touched on it already, it isn't about PC. I don't think any of us mods are particularly PC. It is about being civil, and using language appropriate to 13 year old kids (or more what their parents would think appropriate).

This thread is good, civil debate and discussion, and as such is perfectly fine.

I'm of a similar generation to the OP and a couple of others (I will be 60 next January), and like a number of you, I swear quite a lot in conversation. But my generation was brought up before the internet, when what was written would be very different to what was spoken As such, I have little difficulty keeping the language I use in conversation out of what I write in here.

I think those saying their grandparents wouldn't survive here might be surprised, because they would probably have been brought up with a similar attitude.

[BlindHaze]

To the OP - the only thing really wrong with this thread is that it should be in forum talk, rather than coc general, and I'll move it there in a minute.

To tye others - and some have touched on it already, it isn't about PC. I don't think any of us mods are particularly PC. It is about being civil, and using language appropriate to 13 year old kids (or more what their parents would think appropriate).

This thread is good, civil debate and discussion, and as such is perfectly fine.

I'm of a similar generation to the OP and a couple of others (I will be 60 next January), and like a number of you, I swear quite a lot in conversation. But my generation was brought up before the internet, when what was written would be very different to what was spoken As such, I have little difficulty keeping the language I use in conversation out of what I write in here.

I think those saying their grandparents wouldn't survive here might be surprised, because they would probably have been brought up with a similar attitude.

Thanks Ajax, I know I may have veered close to the line but glad you kept it open. I felt that maybe this forum isn’t the right place to air my opinion, however I don’t think my opinion is invalid.

On that note, how long do you think Prince Philip would survive here...?

[MommySnooks]

So thank you Kirky, it’s posts like this that remind me there is still some sanity in the world. Feigning offence on behalf of yourself or another group is being manipulated as social currency to shut others up.

That’s an interesting perspective. I agree it can and does happen.

And I see the issue with the idea of who’s “place” it is to say whether people are feigning offence, or whether it’s real. Sometimes it’s clear. Other times, it’s not. It’s a tough spot to be in sometimes.

But the point is if it (people getting so easily offended by little things) is real and especially if it happens frequently, there needs to be some introspection/reflection as to why. Rather than just saying “that’s the way I am”, maybe steps could be made to help people either express themselves better, deal with it better, or just move past it, or something? I don’t really know.

I just know I’d be pretty miserable if I always assumed people had ulterior motives regarding their actions/statements towards me, so I choose not to immediately jump to that conclusion.

I just think how sad it must be for others who think that way, much of the time. I realize we can’t just tell people to “grow up” and not be bothered by things, either. “Sticks and stones”, blah, blah.

So after all that, Idk what the solution is, really. Personal growth is just that—personal, and it’s a process—one that doesn’t have to have an end, no matter our age.

[Unfettered]

Is this a generational thing? Or a relationship thing? Or what is it?

Nicely put - might say generational however these things were evident in "our day"; perhaps just more prevalent and out in the open given rise of social media.

[BlindHaze]

That’s an interesting perspective. I agree it can and does happen.

And I see the issue with the idea of who’s “place” it is to say whether people are feigning offence, or whether it’s real. Sometimes it’s clear. Other times, it’s not. It’s a tough spot to be in sometimes.

But the point is if it (people getting so easily offended by little things) is real and especially if it happens frequently, there needs to be some introspection/reflection as to why. Rather than just saying “that’s the way I am”, maybe steps could be made to help people either express themselves better, deal with it better, or just move past it, or something? I don’t really know.

I just know I’d be pretty miserable if I always assumed people had ulterior motives regarding their actions/statements towards me, so I choose not to immediately jump to that conclusion.

I just think how sad it must be for others who think that way, much of the time. I realize we can’t just tell people to “grow up” and not be bothered by things, either. “Sticks and stones”, blah, blah.

So after all that, Idk what the solution is, really. Personal growth is just that—personal, and it’s a process—one that doesn’t have to have an end, no matter our age.

My view of the problem is that the introduction of the PC attitude in the 90s has now become utterly rampant. It now doesn’t matter if you intend to offend but whether someone takes offence. So, you can say something innocent but if someone, somewhere takes offence, then it’s you that has done something wrong. In my opinion, you have to have demonstrated at least some negligence or intent to be found guilty, however this is no longer the case. You can simply say that you’re offended and the perpetrator can be chastised. As such, people are now becoming scared to say anything....

And considering certain words such as ‘lame’, ‘crazy’ and ‘man up’ have been banned in some US campuses due to being disrespectful to some groups... well, that speaks volumes to me. I could say on this forum that someone ‘has a crazy idea’ and I could be berated. Although in my instance I’d probably just say it some more...