It's a game

[Tiggerr129]

I second that Tiggerr. Have sent you a friend request Trillian........ happy, happy farming

OK you all, you can stop horning in on my friend. if you all friend Trillian, I'll have more competition for the great stuff

[Spanielgirl]

OK you all, you can stop horning in on my friend. if you all friend Trillian, I'll have more competition for the great stuff

Except we're in different time zones Tigg, so I'm no competition at all

[Trillian314]

Wow! Many thanks to all of you, I feel much better now

Tiggerr, I'm glad you can get my bolts when I sell them. Don't worry, if I decide to leave you will be the first to know - and get my bolts, LOL.

And now I must do the ironing, or I won't have any shirts for work tomorrow! Sigh... I wish I had more time to play.

Happy farming to all!

[Raindragon]

Hi HappyHelen, again, I thank you for jumping in quickly this morning, because it was me that asked about the dreaded "raiding". I don't quite consider myself a newbie, although it appears that way, because I don't have a lot of posts. I just read a lot. I love this game, a lot. Am addicted..big time. Have really enjoyed a few people here, and have helped when I can. I fill boats for strangers, neighbors. I sell my extra stuff, so that others can get what they need. I could care less if one person buys one thing, or one person buys everything I have. Once it's for sale, it's fair game. And I feel that way when I visit other stores, or other farms. If I see 15 trees that need to be revived, I agree with what someone else said..I revive them all. I'm sure that person is just wanting them revived. And..it's also one of the goals is to revive, I don't even know how many trees now, but that doesn't matter. I play to escape my real world, as someone else stated. It's my make believe happy world that doesn't consist of horrible news stories, politics, insurance ♥♥♥♥, etc etc. But today, all i did was ask a question. I didn't get upset the answer, I got upset that I was told I shouldve searched first, before posting a new thread about the dreaded subject. I did search. I came up empty. Ok, bad me..no big deal, but I felt as if asking a question, was a bad thing. Ok, maybe it caught me off guard, because I also have never been treated badly, or made to feel stupid, or anything else in this forum. I will not stop playing, or asking questions. Or maybe I will just ask someone privately in a PM from now on, who knows. But I just wanted to say how much I do enjoy this game, and that this mornings incident, isn't going to push me away

I am glad that you asked your question. I truly meant that that is what the forums are for. Yes...it may be "the dreaded question" but that is why i closed it...so that there wasn't another 'raiding' blaze ignited. Not because I felt like you shouldn't have asked your question. There is not one person in a community that is more or less important than another. All of our opinions, thoughts, and questions are just as valid as everyone else's. And the way to keep our community as lovely as it has been since before i even came around, is to always be respectful of that. So many wonderful people here are able to do that. I'm sorry that you were made to feel less significant in our community, but i assure you...you are not!

I couldn't agree more, hlorri. I´m at level 58 now, so not exactly a newbie, although I don't come here frequently as I have little time. I do love the game, but I think I may wait to see the new update and then quit.

This game is starting to be less fun and more stressful every day. Just half an hour ago I bought THREE items from somebody's shop. She is always insisting on us not raiding her shop, so I left there a tempting box of nails and a cup of chocolate, although I only have a couple of those items in my barn. But even three must be too many items, because she changed her farm name to tell me off for buying too much.

Bottom line is, I don't like to play like this. I simply cannot, and have no time, to consider every farm I visit and try to guess how many items will be one too many. As Tigger said, this is just a game and there are far more serious things in our lives to worry about whether this guy has bought 10 coffee beans but he has 10 coffee bushes in his farm.

So I will probably quit before Christmas, but until then, if you ever visit my farm please feel free to raid my stalls, water my trees and fill every open crate in my boat. Cheers!

Trillian...that must have felt awful!! It is exactly why I had my etiquette meltdown so many months back! It takes away from our games when people choose to shame others and try to control others' game play. I have had some neighbors change the name of their farms to things like that...what people can buy...who didn't follow their rules...and...i just have to tell myself that that is their playing style...i choose to not let it affect mine...and i unfriend. Please don't let other people take you from a really awesome game that you have loved long enough to reach level 58!!! Wow! And also.....join me in my assault on etiquette!!

Hey I have a better idea, don't quit the game, quit that "friend" because anyone who would call you out to embarrass you is no friend. Like I said before, if the game allows it, then it is right. You can't help four crates on a boat, you can't buy things above your level, but anything else the game allows is right and fair and the way the game is designed. Any other rules someone else makes up are optional. Sort of like putting fines and taxes on the free parking spot in monopoly.

Eventually no one will play with a person so petty and she can keep all her stuff.

very well said Tiggerr.

[Tiggerr129]

I am glad that you asked your question. I truly meant that that is what the forums are for. Yes...it may be "the dreaded question" but that is why i closed it...so that there wasn't another 'raiding' blaze ignited. Not because I felt like you shouldn't have asked your question. There is not one person in a community that is more or less important than another. All of our opinions, thoughts, and questions are just as valid as everyone else's. And the way to keep our community as lovely as it has been since before i even came around, is to always be respectful of that. So many wonderful people here are able to do that. I'm sorry that you were made to feel less significant in our community, but i assure you...you are not!



Trillian...that must have felt awful!! It is exactly why I had my etiquette meltdown so many months back! It takes away from our games when people choose to shame others and try to control others' game play. I have had some neighbors change the name of their farms to things like that...what people can buy...who didn't follow their rules...and...i just have to tell myself that that is their playing style...i choose to not let it affect mine...and i unfriend. Please don't let other people take you from a really awesome game that you have loved long enough to reach level 58!!! Wow! And also.....join me in my assault on etiquette!!



very well said Tiggerr.

Thanks Raindragon. I am pretty easy going but as a mother of two kids with Aspergers, I have had my share of confrontations with mean bullies and my mother bear comes out when someone tries to bully or shame another person.

About the only time you will see me change my farm name is when I am helping with a Turbo Trucker run and I then ask for no one to buy the stuff I put up for the Trucker.(it's a time sensitive thing you know) I will state right here and right now that if you see something in my shop but hesitate to buy it because of the truck run, you can PM me and ask me and I'll sell you two of whatever it was you left un-bought. BUT I will also state that if you buy something that I put up for the trucker, I won't get mad or upset or call you on it because I too have a quick trigger finger and I understand. Do me a favor though, if you see my farm name changed for longer than an hour, by all means give me a yell so I remember to change it back . LOL

[BOROYOB]

Sorry to to read that the game is stressing you out to the point of quitting of what is an awesome game.. Would it remove the problem (or help) if you never bought from that person again, i.e, avoid the situation that is upsetting you altogether...

John.

I must have my philosophical head atm... Not wishing to take sides, the "friends" on the other side also get stressed... We read about it every day, see it in the sigs, threads get closed because of it, that's why I said it's a vicious circle... There is always two sides to an argument/disagreement...

How many months was everyone asking for the "friends removal" option for these very reasons...??

It would be a great shame if the best/easiest solution if party A has to stop buying from/and avoiding party B.

The brighter side (there always is one...) is that there is how many million players out there...??? Most of them looking to be GC'ed or added as a friend, or to be followed.. Game on people... Hehe.

John.

[CuthulhuSashimi]

I've made a few friends here since I recently joined. Just wanted to state my wishes about my shop during the boat event. If I have an ad up, I will wait until it is gone before I put up good items. During the boat event, I'd prefer that nobody single-handedly clears my shop because I am not running ads, and I am trying to put a variety of items in my shop, in amounts that will assist in filling boats, for my friends (who seem to always help me more than I could ever help them in return!)

I'm not going to lose my mind and/or unfriend someone if they don't realize what my preferences are or what my intent is by placing all the pretties in my shop.

Also: my usual rule is that I put the best things I have to share with friends in my shop before I go to bed. I am GMT -6 as far as time zones are concerned. That is the only time of day that it annoys me a little when someone clears my shop, because I put things out for friends who need something while I am sleeping.

HOWEVER! Everything is FOR SALE, and I am not going to get bent out of shape over someone who buys my items that are FOR SALE. The game doesn't let me announce what I hope is done with my items that are FOR SALE. I'm not going to punish anyone for buying the stuff.

I think I have purchased all the milk my 40+ friends have had up for sale in the past two days, and I grabbed every ice cream, jam, cheese, potato, fish or fish product I have seen lately. I will raid my friends' shops 100% if I need everything in it.

Basically: How am I to know what you need/don't need? You might help 100+ people with their boats every day. You may have a kid who is just starting to expand ... Maybe you bought all of my expansion materials because you need a rare item, and you can trade for it with those items. Maybe you are grabbing everything you can to try to trade for something you really REALLY need to make TTIII or CaptainIII.

I think folks should consider all angles before getting upset about folks' behavior in this game.

But it should also be okay to unfriend any player who annoys you every time you see their name. It doesn't have to be personal. At the end of the day ... I do whatever I need to do to enjoy my gaming experience no matter what I am playing. If I can't do that, then I quit playing the game.

P.S. - All my new friends, I have enjoyed playing this game with you! Thanks for adding me to your group of neighbors!

P.P.S. - As a veteran gamer who waits years for the release of a PC or console game, or spends hours working with players all over the world to unlock co-op achievements, etc ... Hay Day is a fantastic little game for the iphone/ipad, but it doesn't have the degree of seriousness to it that my other games do. I think all this drama is from a social aspect, and my advice to you guys who really never played other games is this: Gaming friends exist because they are mutually beneficial. Exceptions to that, when real friendships happen because of gaming together, do not normally result in drama. SOOOO if the person bothering you isn't your BFF, and if they are no longer beneficial to your gaming experience, killfile them and move on. And if somebody does the same to you, don't take it personally. As OP said ... this is just a game

[MarySC]

Well said Tiggerr! I've only had one neighbor who chastised me for buying too many items from their shop (I bought 4 total), and I immediately unfriended them...don't need that drama.

Just half an hour ago I bought THREE items from somebody's shop. She is always insisting on us not raiding her shop, so I left there a tempting box of nails and a cup of chocolate, although I only have a couple of those items in my barn. But even three must be too many items, because she changed her farm name to tell me off for buying too much.

I have kept out of this drama... but enough is enough!!! There is no such thing as raiding!!! If people don't want others to buy their stuff then they shouldn't put it up for sale in their shop!!! There are a very few people on here who like to spend their time stalking other players and deciding if they are worthy neighbors. Huh???? This is supposed to be fun!!!! I hope that "name and shame" on farm stand names is just as prohibited as in the trading forum... take a screen shot and report them ... and then unfriend them!!

For the 99.9% of us who would rather be tolerant farmers...
ENJOY THE GAME!!!!!

[Tiggerr129]

I have no problem with peoples philosophy of playing or their wishes when it comes to selling. But my problem is when they call people out by name, or like RainDragon says, tries to control another's game playing or insinuate that they are playing wrong if they play the way the game allows. Would I rather someone not get to the good stuff (whatever that means) before me? sure. Would I rather someone not get the trade I have set up? sure. But those are the risks you take and if the game allows for it, then no one should make anyone else feel so bad that they want to quit or feel so unsure that they have to ask permission before they play the game.

My dear sweet mother had a saying. What goes around comes around. she was very wise.

[Cricks3]

Exactly! I must confess I feel great when I find a rare item and I'm quick enough to get it! In part I think that's why I feel stressed, because if I have to stop and think about how many items are "too much" or which ones I should choose, it kinda takes away the fun. Today I missed two shepherd´s pies because of thinking too much: "I have four in my barn... maybe I should get that ice cream instead"... and then they were gone, pies and ice cream. Ah well...

Anyway, thanks so much for your kind words. You are probably right, I'll avoid this neighbour and try not to get stressed because of this. After all it's just a game - and an awesome one!

Personally, I'd unfriend this unfathomably rude person if you've not already done. So you bought a few more things than they'd like, big deal...it was one time and didn't deserve their snarling, spitting reaction. They could have simply unfriended you, but the course they chose instead is just rude, cruel, vindictive, and reeks of bad character. No one needs to deal with that sort nor the resulting stress.

SC created an incredible game that has the flexibility to accommodate the multifaceted and varied playing styles of millions of people. However, certain behaviors are still banned for the sake of courtesy and respect, such as pornographic avatars and farm names, curse words on the sign, questionable graphics in the fields, etc. Calling out other players in an attempt to shame them for playing in a different style should also be banned, in my opinion, as it is just as rude and disrespectful as those actions that are already banned.

Anyway, we are already neighbors and, I've a few spare shepards pies I'm more than happy to pass your way. Just let me know. Also what ice cream flavor you need. I may have that as well.