Okay. So, here's the thing... You caught me. I'm a liar face. There is no free booze.
But I
AM a girl!
AAAAND I'm 100%
alive! Does that make me only a
half-liar face??
...
I feel like I've disappointed you. I know brand-new relationships are not usually strong enough to withstand such devastation. BUT! You're still reading! This gives me hope.
Fingers crossed, it means you only
half-hate me. Cause I can work with that!!
So, hi. I'm Luck.
*waves*
Yes. You are correct. I used a silly marketing gimmick in hopes I'd catch your eye. AND I DID!
GREAT SUCCESS! 
(P.S. have you forgiven me, yet?)
But honestly...
(oh, the irony, right?) ... If I still have your attention, I'd really like to tell you more about this bada$$ clan I'm in:
And yes. We like bear puns. Don't you dare judge us.
I won't bestow endless accolades about my wonderful clan mates, but I will tell you this:
They're
awesome.
They're
adults. So, ya know.
Awesome adults.
They enjoy
mooshing the shiznit outta any base they can get their hands on.
So they're
shiznit-mooshing awesome adults... Who enjoy the finer things in life! Such as:
1. Free booze.
Cause who has the money to pay for drinks when you've spent it all on gems?
2. Live girls.
Cause the dead ones just aren't as much fun, amiright?!
3. Oh. And life hacks.
Like how to manage and maintain the perfect beard. I'm not kidding. In fact, it's been discussed extensively. PM me. I'll getcha all the deets.
Are you razzle-dazzled yet?
No!??
Fine. Lemme tell you more about the clan, then.
We're mostly based in the U.S. time zones, but have a few internationals, as well.
Full disclosure: It does tend to get a smidgen quiet during 'Murican sleepy hours. But we're always hoping to grab a few more intercontinentals to get our clan poppin' 24/7!
We consist of adults and would like to keep it that way.
Don't get your panties in a wad!! This isn't meant to offend you younger folks in any way. In fact, I recently met a 15 year old who is FAR cooler than I could ever hope to be!
This rule is in place because we're vulgar/potty-mouthed/occasionally sexually suggestive and our humor can get a bit, *ahem*, raunchy/wild/inappropriate/hysterical/rated R/NSFW/etc. We simply don't want to create an awkward situation or despoil the future of the human race.
So, yeah. Join at your own risk. And be 18 years or older.
On that note, I'm sure you can tell that
we value having a good time.
We 
goofing off and having fun. BUT!! We don't mess around with wars...
If there's anything we love more than the buffoonery of life, it's WINNNIINNGG!!
We're constantly experimenting with new war organizational methods and we utilize ClashTrack and Telegram to aid in this endeavor.
(And yes. ClashTrack and Telegram are required of all Shakers.)
And since we're on the topic of wars...
We war back-to-back!
Don't worry, though! We understand the needs for upgrading heroes, etc and obviously IRL stuff, so opting out is A-Okay.
HOWEVER! Shakey-wakeys are expected to war THREE TIMES a month AND! (your schedule permitting...) Every month, we have a 50v50 ALL-IN WAR! (We call it TBW.) We ask that our Shakers be prepared for this and be ready to go hard, yo!
Oh. And there's just one more thing you should know...
This is really tough for me, but I feel like I can talk to you, you know? You're just super easy to talk to and we've just got this CONNECTION!
I know you feel it, too. Shh. Don't fight it.
Alright. Deep breath.
NO! That's not a tear! It's allergies! GOSH!
Okay, so the thing is... STC used to be the home of the 42 war win streak. I mean, we had wars down to a SCIENCE! It was a beautiful thing.
Sadly, that's not quite the case anymore:
I know. It's not pretty.
But on a serious note, I don't wanna mislead you and be like the blind date who's gorgeous at the restaurant, but after she unstuffs her bra, takes off her Spanx and washes off that 10lbs of makeup, she just ain't for you. I know you get me. I don't wanna be that girl.
So, I'm laying it all out.
The losses started happening right after the matchmaking update, but that's a whoooole other conversation for a whoooole other time.
Point is... Whatcha see is what you get.
Update as of Dec. 1st, 2017:
Oh! And before I forget! We have a super awesome website that my fantasmical right hand man, Neph, made for us! All the STC info one could ever dream of!
http://shakethatclash.com/
Alright! Enough about me! Let's talk about you!
You must...
... not be a d!ck. (We feel this simple rule covers just about everything from using unacceptable racist/homophobic slurs to not donating to clan mates to failing to use your attack(s) in war. Simple, right? Nobody likes a d!ck. Well, at least not THAT kind. So, don't be one.)
... be an adult. (Again, nothing against the youngin's. It's just how we roll.)
... use Telegram. (Some of you may not be a fan of this, but I'm telling you, the pros of having outside communication far outweighs the cons of it. You can check out more about the app and other platforms they offer here: https://telegram.org/)
If you wanna chitty chat about the clan before joining, feel free to find me on Tele! Once you have it downloaded, search my username in the search bar at the top: try LeLucky or @LeLucky
... use ClashTrack. (Don't panic! This is just a war management website that makes it easier on everyone. Honestly, the most annoying part is registering your account. No need to jump the gun here. I have easy peasy instructions on the whole thing in our Welcome Center on Telegram. I'll totes hold your hand through the whole process!)
Okay. So how we feelin'?? Razzle-dazzled???
If the answer is
YES, here's a link (
http://#LQ2GVQYV) straight to our front door! Just mention my name, the forums, and how ridiculously awesome I am in your Join Request. A bear pun or two wouldn't hurt, either.
If the answer is
NO,
(to quote that cool 15 year old I mentioned earlier)
"I hope you enjoy the burning sensation of 10,000 whips slashed across your back as you sink deeper into the 7th ring of Hell."
OOPS! Goshdarn autocorrect!! I meant... take care and good luck*
*shakes coconuts*
P.S. I legit just went to throw in some tags below for the forum searches and I'm not even kidding... "girl games sexy" is a tag on here lol. Amazing. And yeah. I'm so tagging that.
P.P.S. I wasn't kidding about the beard stuff. I've got good intel. Need it? PM me.
Originally Posted by lelucky1029
Okay. So, here's the thing... You caught me. I'm a liar face. There is no free booze.
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