This be Hess from HessTalica. Now Hess has one quality trait, yo. He be honest. How honest you ask? Perhaps too honest. For example, Hess knows that HessTalica is terrible...for now at least. Hess started HessTalica so that he could have his own clan with his amigos, yo. Unfortunately, Hess' friends are not very good, or rather, lower leveled. So why should I join HessTalica? Because Hess don't suck. Hess can donate whatever you want Hess to donate, except those bowlers. Hess ain't TH10...yet. There only be 3 of us, so we need 7 brave, honest and handsome souls to fill the void. We want them clan wars, yo. And trust Hess when he says "you mess with Hess, you die like the rest." Hess sees a promising future of success, and he wants YOU to have a little taste of it. So once again that's H-e-s-s-T-a-l-i-c-a.
Join if you want, survive if you can. HessTalica want no scrubs. Yo.
We be based out on that Beast Coast, yo.
We be them college students, yo. Balls gotta be droppin' if you want to be HessTalica stompin'
We them violent sociopaths your mama warned you of. Wars frequently. Perhaps too frequently.
At least TH7, yo. We ain't a rebuilding, charity case like them Cleveland Browns, yo.
We like them G-Men, yo. You wannna give us a little archer or Dave the Barbaian, that be fine, but generosity is how you get on Hess' good side.
HessTalica Be Here to Save the Day
