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Type: Posts; User: ReLaXs

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  1. I am so poor I can't even pay attention.

    I am so poor I can't even pay attention.
  2. Why did the bee get married? Because he found his...

    Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
  3. As a wizard, I enjoy turning objects into a...

    As a wizard, I enjoy turning objects into a glass. Just wanted to make that clear.
  4. What did one eye say to the other eye? Between...

    What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me something smells.
  5. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own? It...

    Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own? It was two tired.
  6. I hate insect puns, they really bug me.

    I hate insect puns, they really bug me.
  7. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a...

    Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
  8. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell...

    What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
  9. I finally realized my parents favored my twin...

    I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
  10. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B...

    I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  11. I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something...

    I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen... I can feel it.
  12. Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see...

    Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
  13. You can't get on the same page with someone who...

    You can't get on the same page with someone who has a different book.
  14. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State...

    Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
  15. Did you hear about these new reversible jackets?...

    Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
  16. The first time I got a universal remote control,...

    The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything".
  17. What do you call a dictionary on drugs?...

    What do you call a dictionary on drugs? HIGH-Definition.
  18. Heard about the drug addict fisherman who...

    Heard about the drug addict fisherman who accidentally caught a duck? Now he's hooked on the quack.
  19. What do you have to do to have a party in space?...

    What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.
  20. A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or...

    A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or just apathetic?" The kid answers, "I don't know and I don't care."
  21. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  22. A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or...

    A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or just apathetic?" The kid answers, "I don't know and I don't care."
  23. I own a pencil that used to be owned by William...

    I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
  24. What do you have to do to have a party in space?...

    What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet
  25. With great reflexes comes great response ability.

    With great reflexes comes great response ability.
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