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Type: Posts; User: sashteach

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  1. I'm so bright my mother calls me son.

    I'm so bright my mother calls me son.
  2. I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up...

    I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.
  3. Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets...

    Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
    A: Gets jalapeno business!
  4. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a...

    Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
    A: Put a little boogey in it!
  5. Did you hear about the Italian chef with the...

    Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?


    He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
  6. I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

    I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
  7. What did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to...

    What did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?


    “Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
  8. What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song? Slice,...

    What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?


    Slice, Slice Baby
  9. Why was the pizzeria desperate for business? ...

    Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?

    Because they kneaded the dough!
  10. Q: What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A:...

    Q: What type of person doesn’t like pizza?

    A: A weir-dough.
  11. What does a pizza wear to smell good? ...

    What does a pizza wear to smell good?


    Calzogne.
  12. Q: How do you fix a broken pizza? A: With...

    Q: How do you fix a broken pizza?
    A: With tomato paste.
  13. Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?...

    Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?
    Because he ate it before it was cool.
  14. The Dalai Lama walks in to a pizza shop and asks...

    The Dalai Lama walks in to a pizza shop and asks "Can you make me one with everything?"
  15. I'd tell you a joke about a pizza, but it's too...

    I'd tell you a joke about a pizza, but it's too cheesy.
  16. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I...

    I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
  17. I was walking down the street the today and...

    I was walking down the street the today and someone threw a shamrock at me. Turns out it was a real rock.
  18. Q. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? A....

    Q. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

    A. Because they're dead.
  19. Boy: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Only if...

    Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
    Teacher: Only if you can say the alphabet
    Boy: OK abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz
    Teacher: Where's the p?
    Boy: "Half way down my leg."
  20. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A:...

    Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
    A: Never mind, it's over your head!
  21. Q: Did you hear about the race between the...

    Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
    A: The lettuce was ahead and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
  22. You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.

    You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
  23. Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A:...

    Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
    A: Because she will Let it go.
  24. I wanted to post a joke about Sodium but I was...

    I wanted to post a joke about Sodium but I was like Na, people wont understand.
  25. A juggler walks into a doctors office. Doc:...

    A juggler walks into a doctors office.

    Doc: What brings you in today?
    Juggler: I can't stop throwing up
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