Search:

Type: Posts; User: ReLaXs

Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4

Search: Search took 0.03 seconds.

  1. I am so poor I can't even pay attention.

    I am so poor I can't even pay attention.
  2. I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The...

    I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said "I've been waiting all day for you " Well I said. I got here as fast as I could.
  3. My fear of moving stairs escalates.

    My fear of moving stairs escalates.
  4. I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill...

    I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
  5. Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I...

    Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."
  6. What are murder hornets and how much toilet paper...

    What are murder hornets and how much toilet paper do I need?
  7. When I lose the TV controller, it's always hidden...

    When I lose the TV controller, it's always hidden in some remote destination.
  8. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa...

    What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
  9. I'm currently boycotting any company that sells...

    I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.
  10. I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

    I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..
  11. When I found out that my toaster wasn't...

    When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked.
  12. I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I...

    I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
  13. There is a new trend in our office; everyone is...

    There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
  14. A couple years ago my therapist told me I had...

    A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past.
  15. If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot......

    If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot... it's on the right foot.
  16. There are three kinds of people: Those who can...

    There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
  17. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to...

    My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was right—I feel ten years older already.
  18. Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

    Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
  19. My first job was working in an orange juice...

    My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
  20. I bought a dictionary and when I got home I...

    I bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank; I have no words for how angry I am.
  21. This morning some clown opened the door for me. I...

    This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that's a nice Jester.
  22. Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are...

    Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
  23. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a...

    I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.
  24. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird...

    A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
  25. If a short psychic broke out of jail, then you'd...

    If a short psychic broke out of jail, then you'd have a small medium at large.
Results 1 to 25 of 100
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4