It's Like a Monty Python Sketch... a joke that has me laughing
You know the one... the guys are sitting around telling each other about their hard lot as kids...
Read it here http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/jokes/m...kshiremen.html
See it here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
Some fresh spawn will come here blaming the update for no Dex. Then someone will post about their 2k dex hauls five or six times a day. Then another will be their 3k dex hauls. quickly followed by the 100k a week or every three or four days person. Then quickly followed by the... yeah, well I do 100K dex a day. Yeah, well I do over 100k in 8 hours easy peasy so there.
Oh, woe is me, the extra spell in th9 makes it not fair now. Quickly followed by the all the war maestros proclaiming how super easy they smash other TH9s in clan wars with their 11 haste spells and 5 minions or just double zap quake laloon cause sweepers never matter anyway useless things. Yeah, well I didn't need the extra 30 seconds or the extra spells and still wrecked them with just a queen, while she is upgrading!
Farming is dead... oh shut up you, I make 6 million an hour still with just barch and no spells. Is that all? I make 12 million only using goblins down in bronze where every next is an abandoned base.
Everything is so expensive now how will I update anything? Fool, I have 8 builders and I'm a TH11 and they are all busy all the time, you just got to raid more than once a day, it's easy.
There are no dead bases. Idiot! All I see are dead bases. They sit there like other bases, they don't even know they are dead. I hit search, bang, dead base. Are you even searching bro?
EQ makes walls obsolete. Yeah, I know, I just EQ a hole in war bases and send in 8 witches and the base is toast. Witches? Nah, Valks man. Give me 4 eq and five valks and I 3 star any maxed TH9 base in less than a minute and a half. Too much bother for me, I bring 8 eq and a rage and remove almost all the walls then send in 20 giants and the rest goblins and I'm swimming in a sea of 3 stars.
Things we haven't had near enough complaining about, or any complaining...
- Game Warden. I'm not at all happy we don't have every 2nd thread whining how OP the Dubbya is. Sure we have had some, but not nearly enough.
- Extra walls and the need to redesign bases now. There have been a few gripes but we need incessant lollygagging about it.
- Extra space on the map. Not seeing anywhere near enough complaining about this. How decorations had to be moved a couple spaces further out and so on. I know there are some unhappy people out there about it. Speak up. Raise your voices in solidarity. Vote down SC for making it so hard to keep your village pretty now.
- I'm Quitting after 17 years playing SC is just in it for the money. We need many more of these. They are so entertaining. Cause you know... companies exist to make money, you do know that don't you? They aren't spending their own money to provide you with entertainments to keep you off the street. And besides... I've met you... you were in my clan... saying how you were going to leave... remember I said, bye... but you didn't leave. But you did threaten it a few more times. Well, oh bombastic one, go or stay, but really... no-one on the forums cares, though your "I'm going" threads are entertaining so keep them coming.
- I keep getting smashed after the update it isn't fair. There there my distraught cyber buddy. Here is a tissue. Wipe away those tears and go back to smashing THs one level below you like you always do. It'll be alright. As soon as you find that next fully loaded helpless TH6 and wipe him off the map, you'll forget all about that nasty bully TH8 with level 9 BK. But do keep coming back here and telling us.
- The long grass at the edge is too wide now. Oh, I know I know. Please tell us all about how it upsets your symmetry. We want to hear all about it. We do, I swear.
- Barbs have sandals but archers are bare feet. Tell me about it. I've always wanted to see the complaints about this. C'mon! Bring them on. We need them here. Cause we all know it's sexist right. Barefoot, preggers and in the kitchen. Yeah. Complain hard. Get the feminists here to ridicule SC for their anti woman behaviours and stereotyping. They can throw in words like Trope and feel all smug as they ponder if the clapping village girls pass the Bechdel test when they chat inside the TH. Does Anita Sarkeesian know about this?
- I want to hear X. Oh yes, those ones make me giddy. I love them. The fresh spawn wanting to conduct an unofficial data gathering of all those who X. X being... love the update, hate the update, find dead bases, don't find dead bases, farm, don't farm, gem, don't gem, or will or will not spend gems in the future but may have in the past but only to buy the 5th builder or the Mighty Statue or Pirate Flag.
- Polls. Oh, I go weak at the knees just thinking of the chance to see another poll thread. I wait for them like a kid on xmas eve who cannot wait to wake up and see presents. I come here with that same expectation hoping to see yet another poll thread asking the same very thing the one an hour ago asked. Ooooo.... I'm drooling just thinking about it.
- The color of the grass. I know there are people who don't like it. Let your voices be heard. Sing it loud for the word to hear in perfect harmony. Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves.
- The missing band on the rear of the elixir storage. I know right. It sends my OCD through the roof. And I so desperately need to see a plethora of complaint threads and survey threads and polls all about it.
- Heroes in war. Even though I look forward to my week off from constant warring cause I am upgrading a hero and it gives me a chance to catch up on Dex for the next upgrade cause golems, witches, lavahounds and hog armies are dex heavy. That doesn't mean I don't want to hear all about how YOU want it. So... more threads about this please. I don't think SC has heard that you want it yet. And if they have, I am sure they want to hear it at least one more time. I do.
- War match making. Oh yes. My personal fave. Right alongside the Queen shooting walls. We so need more complaints about this.
There is more. Much much more. I know the current ones are just the tips of the iceberg. And the 9 year old whiners and sooky lalaas can do better. Come on, speak up. Pretend you're an ace player from a top notch war clan and tell us, tell us NOW, all about every single woe you have with the game.
Don't like the not quite seemless line at the top of the village? Make a thread. Upset you haven't seen any bigfoots in the bushes around the village? Make a thread. Don't like the new Xmas tree? Thread. Or the old tree? Thread. Don't think the Fins know what snow looks like cause the stuff on your village doesn't look like snow to you? Make a complaint thread. Don't like threads that make fun of people complaining about things? Make a thread about it! It's an easy game the whole family can play, when they aren't trying to get wall breakers to go to the wall right in front of them instead of the one around the corner or trying to get them to not split up. Hmmm... maybe a thread about that!?
:) :cool::p
I'm ok with the update and know they will patch things soon but.....
The haters of the update think SC is thes clerk in this skit and the update is the parrot!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218
