Global Warming - The Truth
It's been a busy summer and I haven't posted any "The Truth"s during that time. I'm going to be strait forward (because the Internet is 100% trustworthy), I've been doing a lot of bowling. This is mostly because I'be heard a wise saying: "The time one spends bowling shall NOT be deducted from his lifespan". If you're wondering who told me that, it was the guy who runs the bowling ally I play at.
In science class (I'm totally in science this semester), we're doing some stuff on ecology; there is a lot of stuff about global warming there. This thought me some of the causes to global warming. When I play Clash nowadays, I feel like it has some sort of contribution to this global phenomenon. Now, the newly educated 88b88power will begin to explain this new theory on how Clash of Clans contributes to Global Warming!
Now, let's start with the most obvious, Inferno Towers. They shoot out fire so hot that it's a beam of light, and you can't heal! It's a big contributor to this horrible phenomenon. In fact, the troops also support this! When archers get to a specific level, they shoot fire arrows; wall breakers and balloons blowing things up, (probably something nuclear); the Wizards shooting their magic that looks pretty bad for the environment; Healers look like they've just come out of an atomic/nuclear plant that they're radioactive (like those eggs I almost ate at that shady restaurant yesterday); Dragons shoot fire, which is pretty self-explanatory; PEKKAs are robots, which doesn't seem that bad, but you realize the waste of energy as they only last for 3 minutes on he battle field.
In fact ALL the troops die in 3 minutes exploding into purple liquid (probably also something bad for the environment).
Now for the dark troops; they're literally made from oil and mined from drills! Sure it's called "Dark Elixir", but I know! I'm 88b88power.
Minions waste DE by throwing them, Hog Riders (although doesn't contribute to Global Warming) kidnaps and forces a hog to carry his weight (which is such a sad life), Golems and Hounds blow up upon death releasing GreenHouse gasses into the atmosphere AND the hound turns into LavaPups upon death which is EVEN WORSE!
Chemical warfare is also apart of this! Poison spells kill of troops, steroids (Haste Spell), the heal spells and even the jump spell! But the worst of all is the Rage Spell. It's a spell of such evil that it fills troops with much anger and (for some reason) makes them move faster and much stronger!
Now onto buildings, attacking storages makes resources fly everywhere! This is probably why you don't get ALL of the opponent's loot! And for loot penalties, you get more prideful at higher TownHall levels and you let more resources get wasted! So much smog is released for Cannons, Mortars, AirDefences and Flaming arrows from ArcherTowers. Air bombs and regular bombs, Teslas shooting out electricity resulting in a cruel death worse than the electric chair (that's you Uncle Rob). Even the new update Supercell released with the new Level11 walls, there is more lava and fire in this game adding to this catastrophic catastrophe!
Now, many people are probably thinking "Yeah sure, you're just some conspiracy theorist".
That is incorrect my friend (or not my friend,) as I am merely an Intelligent Analyst who has a bit too much time on his hands.
However, if you do think this about me, Clash of Clans the game itself supports this! If you look at the troops, do you realize that the troops who live in this burning world try to stay cool (like me)? Many troops (like Barbarians and Hogs and Goblins) wear little attire? Minions wear only gloves made from Dark Elixir, and the Wall Breaker wearing nothing at all (what a horrid display)! This is so they can not die of heat and rather die of defences or explode into particles after their 3 minute life or even blowing themselves up!
So that's all I've got for now.
If you agree with this, please leave your town hall and loot unguarded on your COC base!
