Why are some co's valued more than others?

I've been in my clan for almost a year now, I worked really hard for the clan and finally earned my title as co leader yay! Or so I thought. There are two main, active co leaders in my clan, myself and another that is a slightly higher level than me. I play a little more than he does and I'm older than him, but we are both the same th lvl, both have the same advice to give and both enforce the same rules. I'm never mean or harsh and am really nice to everyone, I chat to them daily about everyday stuff as well as about the game so that they know they are valued in our clan.
My issue is that not one person in the clan listens to a single thing I say, but the second the other co says exactly what I did they all jump in line and listen to him. I'm wondering why this is? Is it because he's a higher level than me? Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female? It's so frustrating as I worked really hard to earn my co title but it just feels like it means nothing now.

yes, maybe this person is higher level
yes, it might be a gender issue, people tend to be sexist on games like this
or maybe this persons name just looks better and more commanding
or it might be grammar

I don't think its sexism per se, it could have to do a lot with timing and how your advice is construed. Is your advice asked for or are u micromanaging every replay? Many high levels fall into a trap where their is only one correct way, their way. In this game, that's not always the case. I have a th 8 who can govape like nobody's business, but because she has been told dragloon or hogs r the only way to go, her confidence has been rattled. All I can suggest is pick your battles, boost their ego and build their confidence and above all be forgiving...they will come to respect u for it and work hard to do right by u:-)

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Originally Posted by ChiefJCS801

yes, maybe this person is higher level
yes, it might be a gender issue, people tend to be sexist on games like this
or maybe this persons name just looks better and more commanding
or it might be grammar

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Dang nothing I can do about that as he constantly stays a few levels above me
Nothing I can do about that one either lol
Another one I can't do anything about as I used my one name change :(
And I'm pretty sure my grammar isn't too bad.
Looks like I'm just going to be stuck in an undervalued rut :( thanks for your input though it shed some light on the situation :)

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Originally Posted by Diablo1979

I don't think its sexism per se, it could have to do a lot with timing and how your advice is construed. Is your advice asked for or are u micromanaging every replay? Many high levels fall into a trap where their is only one correct way, their way. In this game, that's not always the case. I have a th 8 who can govape like nobody's business, but because she has been told dragloon or hogs r the only way to go, her confidence has been rattled. All I can suggest is pick your battles, boost their ego and build their confidence and above all be forgiving...they will come to respect u for it and work hard to do right by u:-)

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I make a point to only ever give advice if they ask for it, and I ALWAYS end each one with 'but it's always down to personal preference so try things and see what works best for you :)' (as I don't want to seem like their CoC mother lol!) When they share really good or interesting replays I congratulate them and tell them why I liked it to try and boost their confidence. And for bad replays (I can only think of this one bad replay that's been shared recently) a member sent out all Giants and said that he sucked at attacking, so I said to him 'nah it was a good attack you just needed to take in some barbs/archers or both as well to run in behind the Giants and clean everything up.' he completely ignored me and will only listen to the other co who says the same sort of stuff as I do. And every member does the same. It's like anything I say has to be confirmed by the other co or it means nothing :(

It's honestly probably because you were JUST promoted to co leader and the other person has been co for a while. Give it time. Find your ground. People will fall in line eventually. :)

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Originally Posted by arose

It's honestly probably because you were JUST promoted to co leader and the other person has been co for a while. Give it time. Find your ground. People will fall in line eventually. :)

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Nope, I've been co for about two months now and a lot of the ones ignoring me joined after I became co so they wouldn't know who was promoted first. See why this puzzles me so much lol ?

Its probably how you handle yourself outside of the normal Co Leadership type of way.
I'm taking in that you and the other Co are fairly similar, other than the fact that he gets listened to more than you. I personally like to lead by example, and maybe his reputation has outdone yours, so maybe that is why he is the "go-to" for advice and lecturing. I don't want to say some people aren't meant for leadership, cause anyone can be a leader in their own type of way, but its how you take that role you've been given and to maximize the opportunities shown.
Im the Leader of my Clan, and its usually what I say goes. What I've noticed with this one girl Co Leader I have is that shes more of the silent but when she does something, its done effectively and more open minded, while the guy Co Leaders are more rowdy and love the praise I give them, but hate the trash I talk. Both genders given Co because of how they led by example and how I want members to become.
Maybe thats you, hopefully this shed some light on your dilemma.

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Originally Posted by MatthewLS

Its probably how you handle yourself outside of the normal Co Leadership type of way.
I'm taking in that you and the other Co are fairly similar, other than the fact that he gets listened to more than you. I personally like to lead by example, and maybe his reputation has outdone yours, so maybe that is why he is the "go-to" for advice and lecturing. I don't want to say some people aren't meant for leadership, cause anyone can be a leader in their own type of way, but its how you take that role you've been given and to maximize the opportunities shown.
Im the Leader of my Clan, and its usually what I say goes. What I've noticed with this one girl Co Leader I have is that shes more of the silent but when she does something, its done effectively and more open minded, while the guy Co Leaders are more rowdy and love the praise I give them, but hate the trash I talk. Both genders given Co because of how they led by example and how I want members to become.
Maybe thats you, hopefully this shed some light on your dilemma.

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At this point I've just put it down to them looking at his profile, then looking at mine and deciding he's a higher level than me so he's the one to listen to. The other co is actually my husband (lol) so we share our ideas and strategies etc so even though he's a higher xp than me, we both know the same stuff and we discuss what is going to be said before its said by either of us. That is really the only thing I can think of at this point because we don't act any differently to each other (tbh I'm probably a bit nicer than he is, he can be a bit blunt sometimes lol !)

Thanks for all your advice guys! Even though I can see at this point I'll just have to lump it or leave it, I really appreciate all of your input and advice :)

Sammy, if you feel unappreciated, (and it took you a YEAR!! to get co), then you should think of starting afresh.
There will be plenty of clans out there (not just mine) who are high level (lvl5), dont care about your gender (we have a mixed adult clan), got decent members (16k rating) and that will give you a co with 1-2 months of serious play.

http://forum.supercell.net/showthread.php/729593

I'm not tying to just poach you, but am serious about giving you options

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Originally Posted by ironhair

Sammy, if you feel unappreciated, (and it took you a YEAR!! to get co), then you should think of starting afresh.
There will be plenty of clans out there (not just mine) who are high level (lvl5), dont care about your gender (we have a mixed adult clan), got decent members (16k rating) and that will give you a co with 1-2 months of serious play.

http://forum.supercell.net/showthread.php/729593

I'm not tying to just poach you, but am serious about giving you options

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Thank you very much for your offer, (level5 and 16k rating wow nice job!) but I worked really hard to get war stars in the clan I'm in to get it to the level it is and I would feel like I wasted my time if I just up and left. Plus I enjoy being in the clan with my husband :) but I won't get all soppy about it here haha

Start demoting and kicking then you'll get their respect

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Originally Posted by Srmojorisin

Start demoting and kicking then you'll get their respect

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Or fear......


Anyways, well all I can say is to jump ship if you feel the clanmates are not giving the respect you deserve. I've dealt with clanmates that wont listen and such, and it's not fun. I know you've worked hard and all in a clan but there comes to a point where you have to say enough is enough. Anyways, good luck with this.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Thank you very much for your offer, (level5 and 16k rating wow nice job!) but I worked really hard to get war stars in the clan I'm in to get it to the level it is and I would feel like I wasted my time if I just up and left. Plus I enjoy being in the clan with my husband :) but I won't get all soppy about it here haha

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Take your husband with you, when you leave and find another clan. (You could start your own, then you are in complete control)

No time in a clan is ever wasted and as other people have already said .. there are a lot of higher level clans out there.

/Affront

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Originally Posted by Srmojorisin

Start demoting and kicking then you'll get their respect

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Yeah then I'd just get kicked too lol. Not going to kick people who do well in wars anyway as they are very valued :)

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Originally Posted by Affront

Take your husband with you, when you leave and find another clan. (You could start your own, then you are in complete control)

No time in a clan is ever wasted and as other people have already said .. there are a lot of higher level clans out there.

/Affront

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The clan is my sister in laws (his sisters) so he won't be going anywhere lol. Decided to stick it out and just not say anything anymore unless directly asked. I'll concentrate on working on my game instead of trying to help them with theirs. My husband won't jump to their every question like I did so we'll see how they get on then lol 😋

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

The clan is my sister in laws (his sisters) so he won't be going anywhere lol. Decided to stick it out and just not say anything anymore unless directly asked. I'll concentrate on working on my game instead of trying to help them with theirs. My husband won't jump to their every question like I did so we'll see how they get on then lol 😋

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Engage the elders and senior members to coach the weaker attackers. If everyone chips in then the coaching carries more weight.

I am the leader in my clan, and a decent attacker. I am th9 now and hog a lot but used dragloon, gowipe, gowiwi, golavaloon etc. Still if someone asks for help i am happy to do so but encourage others to chime in.

One thing i do is ask others to help review my attacks in chat. I'll say, Ok i am going to hi #10. Lure at 1oclock with 2 giants. Pull to 3. Drop 212 kill squad plus queen and a couple wiz. Drop golems at 2 and 4. Wiz and wallies behind. Jump on the air defense at 3. Bk into core to get queen. Hogs in at 5 heals at 6 9 12. - what do you think?"

They tell me whatever and then i attack. It does 2 things 1) it encourages folks to think critically about their attacks and 2) it shows that lots of folks can serve as sounding boards.

Have your husband do that before his next attack. (And you do it for him as well). See if you can get some elders to buy in. A successful attack is better for everyone.

Good luck!
Sutemi
Leader
BringersofRain4 http://forum.supercell.net/showthrea...bringersofrain

I know it's funny, but I like to observe the way how leaders' acted and behave. After all the observation, i can conclude that being the quiet leader is the most effective way to lead.

They simply talk less do more, or kind of leading by example. Being generous with donations and simply have this open minded thinking toward his/her members. They do not have this "do it my way or the highway" attitude but more like engaging his/her members. You'll find they talk with wisdom and maturity, won't raged up easily over undesired stuffs and they do not need recognition for their value in the clan. They simply more of giving than taking.

Gender won't determined your leadership value, your ego won't take you any higher in front of your members either. It's more about your self control. Lead yourself in the first place, and slow but sure your clannies won't be able to help it but admire and follow your lead.

Don't forget that coc is just a game too, don't let your ego make you lose the friendship that you have built all this time when playing this game..

Actually by making an effort to have a self-introspection already show that you're an open minded person, just need a bit more before you can be that admirable lady leader huh? Anw, goodluck, OP. ^^

Because i'm senior and prove what i talked, my junior trust me but for newbie they block headed.. lol
Because 90% my prediction true, my senior still won't acknowledge me and keep their ego... lol

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Originally Posted by Mystery93

I know it's funny, but I like to observe the way how leaders' acted and behave. After all the observation, i can conclude that being the quiet leader is the most effective way to lead.

They simply talk less do more, or kind of leading by example. Being generous with donations and simply have this open minded thinking toward his/her members. They do not have this "do it my way or the highway" attitude but more like engaging his/her members. You'll find they talk with wisdom and maturity, won't raged up easily over undesired stuffs and they do not need recognition for their value in the clan. They simply more of giving than taking.

Gender won't determined your leadership value, your ego won't take you any higher in front of your members either. It's more about your self control. Lead yourself in the first place, and slow but sure your clannies won't be able to help it but admire and follow your lead.

Don't forget that coc is just a game too, don't let your ego make you lose the friendship that you have built all this time when playing this game..

Actually by making an effort to have a self-introspection already show that you're an open minded person, just need a bit more before you can be that admirable lady leader huh? Anw, goodluck, OP. ^^

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The only reason I feel undervalued is that I have good advice to give, am consistent with what I say and really make an effort to help the clan to succeed but am just completely ignored like I don't even exist.
For example, today our clan war started and an elder asked if he could attack someone's mirror before them because they were taking too long, I said no and that our rules have always been clear that our first attack is to be used on our mirror and the second is for clean up, and the person that hadn't attacked yet hadn't because he is on summer vacation and isn't in his game all the time, which we 100% understood, so he would need to wait for that person to attack. Around 15 minutes later when my husband (the other main co) was talking on chat he asked the exact same question and when my husband said no he would need to wait because etc etc (exactly what I said) he then said okay. He blatantly ignored me and only accepted it when the other co said no when it was my husband that told me what to say in the first place. This is what I meant, I'm not a bad co leader, I follow the rules just like I expect our members and elders to do also, I don't have an ego, I know when to hold back my anger, I know when to swallow my pride and I'm not abusing my power. I do everything exactly the same as my husband but because (well this is what I think anyway) he's a higher level than me they just shun me and only listen to him.

hmm... some leader have short vision, they cant see what their ppl are capable of, anyway i was clan leader but i pass it to a co leader and she is from wales, and i made ppl in clan understand that's everyone is a leader in clan, and i gave every co a mission in clan, and all are respected and everyone in my clan deserve to be co leader. its not your problem its clan leader problem. when i take any co from any member the dont complain buz they know they are a part of this clan and we all planning to make it lvl10. good luck

Maybe you talk too much.

-experience as leader

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Originally Posted by Ticojohnny

Maybe you talk too much.

-experience as leader

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Uh yeah I don't think so. People complain we don't talk enough to be perfectly honest.

In my experience, it's all about how good somebody is in war. If someone can attack, it's assumed they know what they are talking about. In our clan nobody really cares about rank.

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Originally Posted by JediBurke

In my experience, it's all about how good somebody is in war. If someone can attack, it's assumed they know what they are talking about. In our clan nobody really cares about rank.

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I get between 2 and 3 stars with each attack in every war. 3 stars being the average and 2 stars only if I run out of time

I have been the leader of my clan for over 7 months, and I admit value ing some cos over others haha. Co is only given out to players who have been in my clan for many months and are active and nice. I joined my clan the first day it was created, about three months before I became leader, and those of us who were there towards the beginning i am much better friends with. Our newer cos, though I do love them all, typically dont influence me as much, though they definitely do influence me. I think it is mainly a seniority issue.

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Originally Posted by BieberXBeliever

I have been the leader of my clan for over 7 months, and I admit value ing some cos over others haha. Co is only given out to players who have been in my clan for many months and are active and nice. I joined my clan the first day it was created, about three months before I became leader, and those of us who were there towards the beginning i am much better friends with. Our newer cos, though I do love them all, typically dont influence me as much, though they definitely do influence me. I think it is mainly a seniority issue.

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Probably in your clan yeah but I did answer this in a previous comment. I've been co for ages

Ask your family members why they listen to husband more.
I think its personal thing, as people trend to listen and follow some people more due to their natural potential to lead.

just relax and be happy:)

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

The only reason I feel undervalued is that I have good advice to give, am consistent with what I say and really make an effort to help the clan to succeed but am just completely ignored like I don't even exist.
For example, today our clan war started and an elder asked if he could attack someone's mirror before them because they were taking too long, I said no and that our rules have always been clear that our first attack is to be used on our mirror and the second is for clean up, and the person that hadn't attacked yet hadn't because he is on summer vacation and isn't in his game all the time, which we 100% understood, so he would need to wait for that person to attack. Around 15 minutes later when my husband (the other main co) was talking on chat he asked the exact same question and when my husband said no he would need to wait because etc etc (exactly what I said) he then said okay. He blatantly ignored me and only accepted it when the other co said no when it was my husband that told me what to say in the first place. This is what I meant, I'm not a bad co leader, I follow the rules just like I expect our members and elders to do also, I don't have an ego, I know when to hold back my anger, I know when to swallow my pride and I'm not abusing my power. I do everything exactly the same as my husband but because (well this is what I think anyway) he's a higher level than me they just shun me and only listen to him.

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Hi Sam! So sorry, just looking back and realized you had replied my post here.

Hmm. I'm absolutely understand your situation. No one would ever be happy to be ignored like that, more over when we have put much effort to show that we truly care. For this case, if i was in your shoes, i would just ignore that specific member too. Act careless only toward him (as one of the leader you should still watch out over him for sure).

I'll just keep being true to myself and won't let any single thing about this game affected my RL's personal feelings. I only can advice you that, you don't need recognition for your value in the clan. You only need to do your best to help out your clannies. And if he has went overboard, feel free to take out your heels and do your job. Just stay cool, laaaadeeehhhh leader! ^^

Nobody cares about level.

Either A) you are newer to the clan and passed up a lot of older members who feel slighted
B) While you saying the same thing as the Co's how you go about saying it is different. You have to earn every ones respect. I have a great Co, really good player who I had to coach a lot as the way they came across when trying to give people advice was very critical and negative (even though it wasn't their intent). Small adjustments to your mannerism and how you say things can make a huge difference. ..and if that doesn't work kick a few people so know you mean business, never let any players argue with you in the clan chat. That's instant kick. Make sure you clan has some means of private communication for players to air their issues one on one.

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Originally Posted by Mystery93

Hi Sam! So sorry, just looking back and realized you had replied my post here.

Hmm. I'm absolutely understand your situation. No one would ever be happy to be ignored like that, more over when we have put much effort to show that we truly care. For this case, if i was in your shoes, i would just ignore that specific member too. Act careless only toward him (as one of the leader you should still watch out over him for sure).

I'll just keep being true to myself and won't let any single thing about this game affected my RL's personal feelings. I only can advice you that, you don't need recognition for your value in the clan. You only need to do your best to help out your clannies. And if he has went overboard, feel free to take out your heels and do your job. Just stay cool, laaaadeeehhhh leader! ^^

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Haha best advice I've received so far and gave me a laugh! Thanks! :)

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Dang nothing I can do about that as he constantly stays a few levels above me
Nothing I can do about that one either lol
Another one I can't do anything about as I used my one name change :(
And I'm pretty sure my grammar isn't too bad.
Looks like I'm just going to be stuck in an undervalued rut :( thanks for your input though it shed some light on the situation :)

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if you want to get a higher level donate more and also try to send out more mail so people get to know your name

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Originally Posted by Tvsever

Nobody cares about level.

Either A) you are newer to the clan and passed up a lot of older members who feel slighted
B) While you saying the same thing as the Co's how you go about saying it is different. You have to earn every ones respect. I have a great Co, really good player who I had to coach a lot as the way they came across when trying to give people advice was very critical and negative (even though it wasn't their intent). Small adjustments to your mannerism and how you say things can make a huge difference. ..and if that doesn't work kick a few people so know you mean business, never let any players argue with you in the clan chat. That's instant kick. Make sure you clan has some means of private communication for players to air their issues one on one.

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In my original post it says I've been in the clan for almost a year, which, just to clarify this, is about how long the clans been around too. I'm one of the oldest members. And as I've said in a previous comment I'm nicer than the other co as he can be a bit blunt and/or harsh at times. Thanks anyway though :)

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Originally Posted by TipTopTep

if you want to get a higher level donate more and also try to send out more mail so people get to know your name

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I donate every chance I get but he still stays 10 or 11 levels higher than me, just when I think I'm catching up, BAM he's miles ahead of me again I don't know how he does it lol

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Originally Posted by Diablo1979

I don't think its sexism per se, it could have to do a lot with timing and how your advice is construed. Is your advice asked for or are u micromanaging every replay? Many high levels fall into a trap where their is only one correct way, their way. In this game, that's not always the case. I have a th 8 who can govape like nobody's business, but because she has been told dragloon or hogs r the only way to go, her confidence has been rattled. All I can suggest is pick your battles, boost their ego and build their confidence and above all be forgiving...they will come to respect u for it and work hard to do right by u:-)

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Go Vape. lol

But on a serious note, the seniority and familiarity always seem to be a factor in determining reception to a co's advice. There's nothing you can do about the fact that he's been there longer and is more familiar with the clan, which gets him/her more respect in the clan. Another factor is the player's level. If he/she is 10 levels above you, they are obviously more likely to listen to him/her. Another thing that factors in is CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, not just criticism. My old clan was called TWSS. I left them because they expected 3 stars on every attack, but never helped you prepare for the attack, and offered up insults and criticism after the failed attack. This often alienates many clan members from the co (or in this case, me from the whole clan in general). Instead of doing this, tell them what they could've done better and can improve on next time.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Haha best advice I've received so far and gave me a laugh! Thanks! :)

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You're welcome, lady leader.. ^^

I'd get a new clan asap.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

I've been in my clan for almost a year now, I worked really hard for the clan and finally earned my title as co leader yay! Or so I thought. There are two main, active co leaders in my clan, myself and another that is a slightly higher level than me. I play a little more than he does and I'm older than him, but we are both the same th lvl, both have the same advice to give and both enforce the same rules. I'm never mean or harsh and am really nice to everyone, I chat to them daily about everyday stuff as well as about the game so that they know they are valued in our clan.
My issue is that not one person in the clan listens to a single thing I say, but the second the other co says exactly what I did they all jump in line and listen to him. I'm wondering why this is? Is it because he's a higher level than me? Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female? It's so frustrating as I worked really hard to earn my co title but it just feels like it means nothing now.

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Was that co leader a co leader before you? People that have been there and know that might tend to trust or listen to him more since he's been a good co leader for a while and they know he knows what he's doing and stuff. They also are probaly more used to him. I'm sure it's not cause your female. Give it some time and see if things change. It's possible a few of the people do care that he's higher lvl and think he's more experienced or something and those people might think lvl makes him better then you. If your in a good clan then most people shouldn't think that. Most likely things will change.

I was the leader in a clan for a long time. I felt unappreciated at times aswell. I would do everything a good leader does, lead by example. Donations, chat, good attacks. I noticed my clan was being innactive so I made up games for the clan, rewards, incentives. Nothing worked. Then my friend joins after taking a break and everyone starts listening to him and doing whatever he says (which by the way is exactly what I would say). So, I know how you feel. I never understood it, and I can't really give much advice aside from this: Keep doing what you are doing, hopefully they will come around. Some people just are like that. They don't appreciate what you do. Maybe your husband can take a "little break" not be as vocal. Let you shine in the spotlight for a little. Maybe that will allow them to listen to you. Or you can be the one to take a break. Let them see how much they need you or miss you helping them. Then they will begin to appreciate you. I did the latter method and it appeared to work. All up to you. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Cheeserman

I was the leader in a clan for a long time. I felt unappreciated at times aswell. I would do everything a good leader does, lead by example. Donations, chat, good attacks. I noticed my clan was being innactive so I made up games for the clan, rewards, incentives. Nothing worked. Then my friend joins after taking a break and everyone starts listening to him and doing whatever he says (which by the way is exactly what I would say). So, I know how you feel. I never understood it, and I can't really give much advice aside from this: Keep doing what you are doing, hopefully they will come around. Some people just are like that. They don't appreciate what you do. Maybe your husband can take a "little break" not be as vocal. Let you shine in the spotlight for a little. Maybe that will allow them to listen to you. Or you can be the one to take a break. Let them see how much they need you or miss you helping them. Then they will begin to appreciate you. I did the latter method and it appeared to work. All up to you. Good luck!

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I've chosen to take a break myself. I'm still playing, I'm just not speaking. No ones noticed at all that I can see. Our members suck :(

I dont know the whole situation but being a Co in my clan, I get more respect and ppl listening/asking for advice then most other Cos. I feel that this is because of a few reasons:

1. I communicate often and show alot of knowledge about everything pertaining to COC. (Im an addict)
2. I do well in wars. I only try to give advice when I can show them the strategy in action. So when I tell them they need to spread golems further/funnel troops/wait to drop wb or use X amount of troops, they know it can work.
3. Number two is probably the biggest reason they seek my advice or will jump on board when I add my two cents. They see me giving others advice and them sometimes (when deployed like instructed) getting good results from it.

If this is already the case with this other Co-leader, they may feel they have someone to go to. I dont know who does better in wars but that may play a part in it.

Of course there is always sexism. That will never go away. If your among a group that doesnt respect a females perspective, then thats doubtful to change.

In our clan, we have one female and I would like to think people would listen to her. She completly destroys everyone at her TH level and even higher. So if she were to tell a similar th level to do such and such, I would probably just back what she said unless I saw another option.

This is an odd and somewhat interesting case. I read through everyone's posts, and I think the general consensus:

• Your husband is more respected (not surprisingly)
• A high level is a key in getting attention
• New players in the clan follow long term player's examples

There's a lot more meat to why, but also maybe the players like more sharp criticism and don't like people trying to make them feel better. Stop beating the bush? Humans are vastly different. Other factors are pure instinct or a random preference.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

I've been in my clan for almost a year now, I worked really hard for the clan and finally earned my title as co leader yay! Or so I thought. There are two main, active co leaders in my clan, myself and another that is a slightly higher level than me. I play a little more than he does and I'm older than him, but we are both the same th lvl, both have the same advice to give and both enforce the same rules. I'm never mean or harsh and am really nice to everyone, I chat to them daily about everyday stuff as well as about the game so that they know they are valued in our clan.
My issue is that not one person in the clan listens to a single thing I say, but the second the other co says exactly what I did they all jump in line and listen to him. I'm wondering why this is? Is it because he's a higher level than me? Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female? It's so frustrating as I worked really hard to earn my co title but it just feels like it means nothing now.

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Recruiting hoppers and leechers off global by our younger members has been an issue in our clan for a while now, yesterday I addressed the issue and said that if hey really wanted to recruit then to do it on these forums. The other co jumped on and (for reasons I don't really understand why as we've always agreed that it's been an issue) said recruiting off global is now fine, therefore blatantly undermining me. Now people won't even donate troops when I request! So that was the final nail in the coffin I guess. I think I've run my course in that clan now and it's time to move on. Not exactly sure what to say when I go though :/

Let your reputation do the talking. Be an awesome player all round and people will really have no choice but to respect you. Here is what i do.

1. Treat everyone fairly and with respect and command the same of everyone else. Always be consistent
2. Use both attacks in war and do them well
3. Donate more than anyone else 98% of the time
4. When new people join be helpful and available for questions, get to know the rl person
5. Let your personality work its way into the game, let your good traits shine.
6. Be positive, nobody likes negitivity

I dont want to sound dumb, but my clan loves and respects me cause i love and respect them.

Join my clan LEGENDS

Don't think its a ♥♥♥ thing, don't even go there. Its just a matter of respect. Overtime people will begin to respect you more as they gain more trust with you. It won't happen right away. Be patient.

Also show some tough authority. Kick some disrespectful members or inactive ones. Make sure people know you mean business.

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Originally Posted by Firehawk10

Also show some tough authority. Kick some disrespectful members or inactive ones. Make sure people know you mean business.

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If I kicked anyone it would just cause arguments because no matter how awful, immature and ignorant the other members are the other co and the leader all think they're awesome

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Originally Posted by mattygaga2015

Join my clan LEGENDS

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Thanks for the offer but I shall be moving over to my nephews clan to help him build it up :)

my advice would be to find an all adult clan were respect is a must., putting in work time and effort to be disregarded is never acceptable good luck.

The issue sounds like you didn't earn the respect of the other clanmates, if a leader gives you co doesn't mean everyone needs to listen or respect you. So it's your personal relationship with clan members and whether they precieve that you can help them. CO Leader and elder is given, respect is earned

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

I've been in my clan for almost a year now, I worked really hard for the clan and finally earned my title as co leader yay! Or so I thought. There are two main, active co leaders in my clan, myself and another that is a slightly higher level than me. I play a little more than he does and I'm older than him, but we are both the same th lvl, both have the same advice to give and both enforce the same rules. I'm never mean or harsh and am really nice to everyone, I chat to them daily about everyday stuff as well as about the game so that they know they are valued in our clan.
My issue is that not one person in the clan listens to a single thing I say, but the second the other co says exactly what I did they all jump in line and listen to him. I'm wondering why this is? Is it because he's a higher level than me? Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female? It's so frustrating as I worked really hard to earn my co title but it just feels like it means nothing now.

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Originally Posted by ChopperExordium

The issue sounds like you didn't earn the respect of the other clanmates, if a leader gives you co doesn't mean everyone needs to listen or respect you. So it's your personal relationship with clan members and whether they precieve that you can help them. CO Leader and elder is given, respect is earned

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From what everyone has said so far it seems that when yous read this you all think that the other co somehow earned his title too which is why he deserves respect. I will say now that this is NOT the case. He was given co the second he joined because his SISTER is the leader and that's why he was given it along with their mother who is lower than th7. I'm the only co in the whole clan that isn't immediate family (they're my in laws) and has had to earn it. And I will say again that it's the members that have been around for about a month that ignore me, the ones that arrived AGES after I became co.

My only advice would be to talk to your husband the other co and his sister the leader and see if they could rather than repeating what you said, say in clan chat something to the effect that you had already given the advice that they themselves would give. I mean you do it already with talking to the other co (your husband) and him having you say something, like having the one person wait to attack who asked again later to receive the same advice again. If they reinforce your position rather than repeating the same advice it will let the person know that the leader and co leader trust you enough to say you already told them what they needed to know. They then may just listen to you and your advice more often.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

From what everyone has said so far it seems that when yous read this you all think that the other co somehow earned his title too which is why he deserves respect. I will say now that this is NOT the case. He was given co the second he joined because his SISTER is the leader and that's why he was given it along with their mother who is lower than th7. I'm the only co in the whole clan that isn't immediate family (they're my in laws) and has had to earn it. And I will say again that it's the members that have been around for about a month that ignore me, the ones that arrived AGES after I became co.

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If that's the case then maybe you should either talk to them about it and maybe they will understand how you feel and you guys can work things out or find a new clan. I'm not judging or anything but maybe they don't really like you? It's possible they have no idea that you have a problem with how things are going and that you don't feel valued. Try talking to them about it. If nothing comes of it then find a new clan. If there family they should understand.

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Originally Posted by Rocket32

If that's the case then maybe you should either talk to them about it and maybe they will understand how you feel and you guys can work things out or find a new clan. I'm not judging or anything but maybe they don't really like you? It's possible they have no idea that you have a problem with how things are going and that you don't feel valued. Try talking to them about it. If nothing comes of it then find a new clan. If there family they should understand.

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Probably just don't like me. Not like I care anyway they're just a bunch of kids lol

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female?

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Dont worry, it has nothing to do with gender lol. The leader of my clan is female, and everybody listens. She has her mood swings as well, but then we deal with it and love her anyhow. Most of our clan members, we recruited from forums and other clans.

Aside from helping and donating a lot, people tend to respect and follow those with leadership style, strong convictions and one who rewards their clanmates(praising them etc.)

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

I've been in my clan for almost a year now, I worked really hard for the clan and finally earned my title as co leader yay! Or so I thought. There are two main, active co leaders in my clan, myself and another that is a slightly higher level than me. I play a little more than he does and I'm older than him, but we are both the same th lvl, both have the same advice to give and both enforce the same rules. I'm never mean or harsh and am really nice to everyone, I chat to them daily about everyday stuff as well as about the game so that they know they are valued in our clan.
My issue is that not one person in the clan listens to a single thing I say, but the second the other co says exactly what I did they all jump in line and listen to him. I'm wondering why this is? Is it because he's a higher level than me? Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female? It's so frustrating as I worked really hard to earn my co title but it just feels like it means nothing now.

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I would leave any clan that didn't promote me to co after a couple months of solid play. Thats more disrespectful than members not listening to your advice.

In one of my clans, people started respecting me for who I after I lost my temper. Not saying this is a good way, but you could show that bad things happen if someone crosses the line too much...

If you only just became co it will take time for the members to think of you as a co, and then after that if you're demoted people might still think you're a co, it happened to me :smirk:

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Originally Posted by Sukiawesome

In one of my clans, people started respecting me for who I after I lost my temper. Not saying this is a good way, but you could show that bad things happen if someone crosses the line too much...

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Hell hath no fury and all that... 😂

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Originally Posted by Tmoss1125

If you only just became co it will take time for the members to think of you as a co, and then after that if you're demoted people might still think you're a co, it happened to me :smirk:

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As mentioned in an earlier comment, I've been co for months :)

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Hell hath no fury and all that... 😂

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But seriously, don't follow the idea...😆

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Thanks for the offer but I shall be moving over to my nephews clan to help him build it up :)

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Since you're starting over from the beginning, don't let the 'title' blinds your overall perspective to enjoy playing the game. At the end of the day, it's just, a title.. *chuckle*

New Co's- Co's who just received the rank (Least Valued)

Loyal Co's- Old, Experienced Co's who have had the rank for a long time(Valued more than New Co's)

Friend Co's- Most Valued Co's that are real life friends of the leader and most trusted

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Originally Posted by Sukiawesome

But seriously, don't follow the idea...😆

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Haha wasn't going to it just made me lol 😂

Hi. If you are still frustrated and want to try another clan, we have one you could try:

All for Christ
#PYC09JLG (PYCzero9JLG)

Most people are very friendly. We are a level 4 clan. Opting into a war is optional. We do wars all the time.

God bless you.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

I've been in my clan for almost a year now, I worked really hard for the clan and finally earned my title as co leader yay! Or so I thought. There are two main, active co leaders in my clan, myself and another that is a slightly higher level than me. I play a little more than he does and I'm older than him, but we are both the same th lvl, both have the same advice to give and both enforce the same rules. I'm never mean or harsh and am really nice to everyone, I chat to them daily about everyday stuff as well as about the game so that they know they are valued in our clan.
My issue is that not one person in the clan listens to a single thing I say, but the second the other co says exactly what I did they all jump in line and listen to him. I'm wondering why this is? Is it because he's a higher level than me? Or (I actually doubt it's this one) is it because I'm female? It's so frustrating as I worked really hard to earn my co title but it just feels like it means nothing now.

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its probably because he's slightly higher lvl and everyone likes to listen to those who are higher lvl but that's no worries just keep offering advice and you always have that demote button against them!

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

From what everyone has said so far it seems that when yous read this you all think that the other co somehow earned his title too which is why he deserves respect. I will say now that this is NOT the case. He was given co the second he joined because his SISTER is the leader and that's why he was given it along with their mother who is lower than th7. I'm the only co in the whole clan that isn't immediate family (they're my in laws) and has had to earn it. And I will say again that it's the members that have been around for about a month that ignore me, the ones that arrived AGES after I became co.

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join my lvl6 clan Elite raiders instead (we're a war clan which are a bit thin on members at the moment) as you're welcome to join. Boot the members who don't listen to you. Our clan tag is #2GJUV228 - pm me and ill reply later as I'm going out

I'm laughing at the people trying to promote their clans to you, OP.

I'm not sure why his opinion is valued more other than level although it could just be donations. Are you good at war? People will usually want to listen to someone that is good at attacking. You could always try talking to a member and ask why they listen to your husband more, but I'm not sure how that will work out.

If you continue to feel like you are under appreciated, leave. It isn't fair to you to feel like you are second best.

I wish you the best of luck with your decision. :D

There is an elder that is a higher level due to her being in a req and leave clan prior o joining us. We are also both being TH8.5 and are on about the same pace. She may be a higher level, but I am a better war attacker than her. And of course they will go to me for advice first. If you do decide to stay in your clan, I suggest becoming a war beast to show him up. :)

You obviously don't have to, but can we see your base and his base so we can see what's going on?

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Originally Posted by Ashton2001

I'm laughing at the people trying to promote their clans to you, OP.

I'm not sure why his opinion is valued more other than level although it could just be donations. Are you good at war? People will usually want to listen to someone that is good at attacking. You could always try talking to a member and ask why they listen to your husband more, but I'm not sure how that will work out.

If you continue to feel like you are under appreciated, leave. It isn't fair to you to feel like you are second best.

I wish you the best of luck with your decision. :D

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So am I as I said in a previous comment that I won't be leaving and if I do it'll be to join my nephews clan lol :D
I usually get either 2 or 3 stars in every war so I'd say I'm pretty good at attacking, there's not much difference between my husband and I in that area.
As for donations, I have the highest donations in my clan and the best ratio. As of right now it's 1275 donated to 405 received (it's not my best but I'm still pretty stoked with it lol).
The biggest issue I'm having right now with everything else aside is with one particular elder, ever since he got promoted he runs round and acts like he's the boss, he has the worst donations in the whole clan and is just completely ignorant to anything that's said to him. I've wanted to demote him for ages but no one else sees a problem with him because he half listens to everyone else but completely ignores me. The whole thing has got so stressful that I find myself putting my phone down and not playing just to not get annoyed by him lol.

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Originally Posted by Ashton2001

You obviously don't have to, but can we see your base and his base so we can see what's going on?

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I won't post our bases for three reasons:
1. I don't know how to put photos up with my iPhone lol;
2. I don't think my husband would like me putting his base on here and
3. I don't know how to edit out names etc so it would technically be a name and shame thing sorry

It's probably because u in a clan that's full of ignorant people who can't respect you for what ever reason. If you a CO leader and they ignore you then time they left the clan

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Originally Posted by buffy1

It's probably because u in a clan that's full of ignorant people who can't respect you for what ever reason. If you a CO leader and they ignore you then time they left the clan

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This.
Officially the best response I've read to my question and the only logical conclusion that I can come to at this point as well. I work my backside off for them, treat them all with respect, encourage them and am nothing but nice to them and have done so since before I was co, but all they do is ignore me. They're rude and selfish with donations and war attacks (th7 used barch in war because all other combos were 'too expensive' when he had full storages, while at the same time I only just had enough elixir to cover my attacks but I still donated dragons to everyone that asked. He didn't even get one star btw. I mean really.) I think I'm going to have to start putting my foot down and risk demotion and/or kick because it's getting ridiculous now. As I said in an earlier comment they've even stopped donating to me now :(

I've noticed that many players seem to respond better to "blunt" than to "nice". Don't ask me why, could be a macho thing or an age thing. Some players equate "nice" with weakness. Some players need more concise direction. As a (female) clan leader, I assess what works best with different players and adapt accordingly. My leadership style is nice, helpful, fun but firm - and all business when it comes to warring. When I first took over the role I think I veered too much toward the nice side (I am Canadian after all!) and I had to toughen up a bit. It doesn't hurt for people to not want to get on your bad side.

I'm not saying that you're not a good leader. You sound like someone I'd love to have as a co in my clan. But there is obviously some dynamic going on there. Apologies if this has already been asked, but have you discussed this with your leader? She should be able to be honest with you and help you with this.

That said, it sounds to me like your situation is really affecting your enjoyment of the game. If that's the case, I would head over to your nephew's clan and see if you can start having fun again. After all, if we're not having fun, what's the point?

Good luck and clash on!

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Originally Posted by Conquistodor

Apologies if this has already been asked, but have you discussed this with your leader? She should be able to be honest with you and help you with this.

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As the leader is my sister in law (and I'm not close AT ALL with my in laws) I actually don't talk to her I just talk to my husband and he discusses things with her then gets back to me lol. It's weird I know but what can ya do haha.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

As the leader is my sister in law (and I'm not close AT ALL with my in laws) I actually don't talk to her I just talk to my husband and he discusses things with her then gets back to me lol. It's weird I know but what can ya do haha.

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Maybe you could talk to you in laws? Idk everything though...

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Originally Posted by ironhair

Sammy, if you feel unappreciated, (and it took you a YEAR!! to get co), then you should think of starting afresh.
There will be plenty of clans out there (not just mine) who are high level (lvl5), dont care about your gender (we have a mixed adult clan), got decent members (16k rating) and that will give you a co with 1-2 months of serious play.

http://forum.supercell.net/showthread.php/729593

I'm not tying to just poach you, but am serious about giving you options

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I agree you probably should find a new clan but if your sticking there it might be a good idea to be a bit more forceful, your problem could be your being too nice, and the other co puts his foot down whenever someone goes out of line, I once kicked 6 guys all in the 1 day for being too out of line, if you need to kick someone before they get the point then so be it.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

As the leader is my sister in law (and I'm not close AT ALL with my in laws) I actually don't talk to her I just talk to my husband and he discusses things with her then gets back to me lol. It's weird I know but what can ya do haha.

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Sammy, this might be the root of your problem. You need to be on equal footing with the other cos and have a good working relationship with your leader. Don't see how you can be an effective co if you're essentially an extension of your husband. There is a total imbalance there and tells me that you are a "second-tier" co.

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Originally Posted by Conquistodor

Sammy, this might be the root of your problem. You need to be on equal footing with the other cos and have a good working relationship with your leader. Don't see how you can be an effective co if you're essentially an extension of your husband. There is a total imbalance there and tells me that you are a "second-tier" co.

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My husband has actually told me that he's the second leader and that we're on a whole defferent level as co's hence why he tells me off for saying things that I don't run past him and undermines me in front of the other members. *sigh* it's becoming more and more clear that I have to leave if I want any decent sort of role :(

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Originally Posted by Sukiawesome

Maybe you could talk to you in laws? Idk everything though...

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Unfortunately not an option as we don't get along in real life. We tolerate each other on the game and donate troops to each other etc but we're in no way 'friends' or on emotional/advice speaking terms lol

I have been reading this thread with interest and feel for you. I have no doubt that it is time that you moved on to a different clan who will value your contributions and will be a much better fit for you. I appreciate that you have committed many months to helping build up your existing clan but this game is supposed to be fun and an escape from real life stresses; it should not be an additional stress.

There are lots of other options out there with friendly members who will treat you with respect and listen to what you have to say whatever your position is within the clan hierarchy. It is one of the reasons we have retained so many long term members within our clan.

I wish you all the best.

Now, i am very curious to see you and your husband profile. Who has better troops? Which GG, EE, HH, war hero is higher? Or you could just tell us your clan's name/tag, and let us analyze from there.


Edit : after reading about your relationship with your in laws, i can't help but to think that all the members didn't respect you because they are your in laws family or friends. Just leave the clan already. Who cares if your husband is there. You could meet new friends, who knows?

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Originally Posted by hhggff

Now, i am very curious to see you and your husband profile. Who has better troops? Which GG, EE, HH, war hero is higher? Or you could just tell us your clan's name/tag, and let us analyze from there.


Edit : after reading about your relationship with your in laws, i can't help but to think that all the members didn't respect you because they are your in laws family or friends. Just leave the clan already. Who cares if your husband is there. You could meet new friends, who knows?

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He's easily higher than me, we're the same th lvl atm but he's about to go up a lvl as he's almost maxed everything so yeah that'll be a big reason why I'm guessing.
The only actual in laws in the game are two sisters in law (and one of their boyfriends), my mother in law and a nephew and a niece in law. Everyone else is outsiders. I had planned on moving over to my nephews clan but after some drama over there they've now disbanded. I figure at this point I'll stick it out through another war and if people still aren't donating to me after that then I'll start to look for a new clan.

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

He's easily higher than me, we're the same th lvl atm but he's about to go up a lvl as he's almost maxed everything so yeah that'll be a big reason why I'm guessing.
The only actual in laws in the game are two sisters in law (and one of their boyfriends), my mother in law and a nephew and a niece in law. Everyone else is outsiders. I had planned on moving over to my nephews clan but after some drama over there they've now disbanded. I figure at this point I'll stick it out through another war and if people still aren't donating to me after that then I'll start to look for a new clan.

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Well, best of luck to you then. Never let people, whoever he/she is, treat you like a doormat. Gotta stand your ground, girl!!!

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Originally Posted by hhggff

Well, best of luck to you then. Never let people, whoever he/she is, treat you like a doormat. Gotta stand your ground, girl!!!

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Lol thanks :)

Maybe you should tell your husband this?

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

My husband has actually told me that he's the second leader and that we're on a whole defferent level as co's hence why he tells me off for saying things that I don't run past him and undermines me in front of the other members. *sigh* it's becoming more and more clear that I have to leave if I want any decent sort of role :(

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Unfortunately not an option as we don't get along in real life. We tolerate each other on the game and donate troops to each other etc but we're in no way 'friends' or on emotional/advice speaking terms lol

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Sounds like your clan would be ideal for one of those day time tv shows where all the relatives come on and yell and scream at each other. Jerry Springer would be perfect. lol. If you really just want to play c of c with people who treat you with respect and look forward to when your online leave your current clan and find another non relative involved clan.

However I do know that some people are attracted to drama like a moth to a flame and just can't leave it behind either in the real world or the game world. It seems you have found a way to incorporate both.

This has nothing to do with c of c..

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Originally Posted by Sukiawesome

Maybe you should tell your husband this?

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I have many times

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Originally Posted by Jwp721

Sounds like your clan would be ideal for one of those day time tv shows where all the relatives come on and yell and scream at each other. Jerry Springer would be perfect. lol. If you really just want to play c of c with people who treat you with respect and look forward to when your online leave your current clan and find another non relative involved clan.

However I do know that some people are attracted to drama like a moth to a flame and just can't leave it behind either in the real world or the game world. It seems you have found a way to incorporate both.

This has nothing to do with c of c..

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No. No we wouldn't. We don't yell and scream at each other we just don't talk to each other. Asking if we fight or ignore each other before basically calling me a drama queen would of been more sufficient here. There's a big difference between 'families at war' and just avoiding each other lol. I don't ask for any kind of drama and I don't like it, it was my husband that got me playing the game and he just so happens to be in a clan with his family therefore if I wish to play with him I have to play with them too. We don't argue or anything so as far as I'm concerned the game has nothing to do with real life and if they treat it like it is well then that's their problem. Negativity instead of asking questions to find out information doesn't help any situation so perhaps rethink that one for the future? :)

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

Dang nothing I can do about that as he constantly stays a few levels above me
Nothing I can do about that one either lol
Another one I can't do anything about as I used my one name change :(
And I'm pretty sure my grammar isn't too bad.
Looks like I'm just going to be stuck in an undervalued rut :( thanks for your input though it shed some light on the situation :)

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its probably largely weighted on levels

people still kind of look on levels as experience or a lot of less active players will

try and donate a ton and overtake him in levels

How is your relationship with the other co? Is he threatened by your leadership? My hubby and I are in the same clan, both Co, and I was promoted after he was. He finds repeated questions irritating. It shut people down pretty quickly when he told them he isn't wasting his time repeating advice I had already given them. Since then, things have normalized. In turn, I don't try to give advice to players who are really above my skill level either.

Sorry, just realized i responded to older post....

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Originally Posted by hjennings69

its probably largely weighted on levels

people still kind of look on levels as experience or a lot of less active players will

try and donate a ton and overtake him in levels

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I agree with you fully, I'm sure that's what it is too. I'm working my butt off to catch up to him but so far not so good lol. Will keep trying though!

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Originally Posted by teladybug

How is your relationship with the other co? Is he threatened by your leadership? My hubby and I are in the same clan, both Co, and I was promoted after he was. He finds repeated questions irritating. It shut people down pretty quickly when he told them he isn't wasting his time repeating advice I had already given them. Since then, things have normalized. In turn, I don't try to give advice to players who are really above my skill level either.

Sorry, just realized i responded to older post....

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He's undermined me a few times so I don't think that's helped anything. Sick of arguing with him over a darn game tbh lol

Sammy use your attacking prowess in war and consistently 3 star! Your clan-mates will respect you as a co :) Also make sure to always have a positive attitude!! Gl :thumbsup:

Simply.... Being valued or respect is earned not asked. If you are r valuable enough in wars or donations, decent in words, attacks well and aside from Base comparison and progress. You will be valued or at least respected otherwise if u have traits like these and still he/she disrespects you... BOOT them. How can new players respect or value you if you tolerate it. Our clan doesn't doesn't aim for quantity of players we aim QUALITY.

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Originally Posted by DaOneNOnly799

Sammy use your attacking prowess in war and consistently 3 star! Your clan-mates will respect you as a co :) Also make sure to always have a positive attitude!! Gl :thumbsup:

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When a war eventually happens again I shall! Lol :D I try to have a positive attitude at all times it's just deflating when you get undermined, ignored and/or judged. That's life though lol ;)

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Originally Posted by Mackarov

Simply.... Being valued or respect is earned not asked. If you are r valuable enough in wars or donations, decent in words, attacks well and aside from Base comparison and progress. You will be valued or at least respected otherwise if u have traits like these and still he/she disrespects you... BOOT them. How can new players respect or value you if you tolerate it. Our clan doesn't doesn't aim for quantity of players we aim QUALITY.

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I have requested that they be demoted/kicked but the leader and the other co have no problem with them so they won't let me and if I just went ahead and did it they would demote/kick me in return :(

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Originally Posted by XxSammyxX

I have requested that they be demoted/kicked but the leader and the other co have no problem with them so they won't let me and if I just went ahead and did it they would demote/kick me in return :(

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Or simply just ignore him. Excel more and show them what you got. Maybe a little less drama. Or if he/she trash talks you and disrespects you ..... Find CIA coop for Intel and hire a gunman lol.