An interview with a barbarian by Geronimosemiro
An interview with a barbarian by Geronimosemiro (grammar and spelling mistakes intentional, think of how stupid barbarians are)
Geronimo: Hi Mr. Barbarian! Nice day isn't it?
Barbarian: Arrghghh!
Geronimo: Oops we forgot to give him the translator… (gives barbarian the translator)
Barbarian: Why you ignore me fiend?
Geronimo: Oh sorry sir I forgot to give you the translator earlier on. I have three questions for you submitted by fans of you, and you are here to answer them.
Barbarian: Well hurry up me have to attack a random wall soon.
Geronimo: Well you’re quite the smart guy, because the first question is about why you go for barracks and walls instead of gold?
Barbarian: Well me and me friends don’t care about loot; we care about the BLOOD and DESTRUCTION in anything in our path or is near us. Also when you attack gold it flies out into the air and spills all over the place and ruins my good hair. Not that I care about it though we never even take shower. Shower too hard to learn to turn on. Hurts me head.
Geronimo: Wouldn’t lots of gold make you rich?
Barbarian: No like me say before loot is useless but even if you get it it useless. Because even if you we steal 400k gold the goblins take about half, then with an annoying trumpet sounds either ‘Dan-dada-dan-da-da!’ or ‘Bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-bum’ the chief takes all the loot! Loot is useless to us soldiers, the so-called ‘smart’ archers are the most dumb. They work very hard to get all the loot only to get robbed.
Geronimo: Okay second question is your yellow thingy on the top of your head a helmet or hair?
Barbarian: Aha good question indeed. Well at first it started out as hair. But some of the guys wanted cool helmet like the 300 Spartans so we switched to helmets instead. But the guys who were fans of the hair threatened the chief to leave for eternity and they even started protesting in front of the town hall! So it was decided that some days we would have hair, some days we would have helmets. Currently we have hair on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays, and helmets on the rest of the days.
Geronimo: What do you prefer?
Barbarian: Ah well I prefer wizard hoodies, but I just stick to whatever is available on a certain day whether it is helmets or hair. You done yet you slime ball?
Geronimo: Eh not exactly but there is only one question left, so here it goes. How did you get into the game?
Barbarian: Too long story, me lazy to tell. Go away.
Geronimo: Awww, please man I know you can do it!
Barbarian: Okay but you need to give me 900 cookies and a fluffy bu**y.
Geronimo: Look man, I go to the soup kitchen almost every other day, if I were to give you those cookies I would surely die…
Barbarian: Then what’s that shiny metallic thing with a screen on it that most cost a lot… you aren’t fooling me!
Geronimo: Fine I lose you win. I’ll give you those cookies… now finish the interview!
Barbarian: Well to be honest… I don’t remember were I came from all my oldest memory of the past is me eating a carrot at a army camp back in September 2012…
Geronimo: YOU LIAR---
Barbarian: What me not liar you are liar you said interview would be done fast… (picks up his sword and slices a part of Geronimo’s leg)
Geronimo: AUGHH SOMEBODY CALL 911 NOW! (keeps groaning in rage and pain)
Barbarian: How loud. I’m out of here.
After the interview: Not surprisingly, the barbarian got off without a jail sentence. Geronimo on the other hand had to pay enormous amounts of money for his leg... and also for those cookies.
