And we don't really know. How embearassing.
Now that you're here, lemme formally introduce myself: I'm Luck. Hi.
Something tells me with that enigmatic intro, you're completely bursting with anticipation to join ShakeThatClash! If this assumption is correct, I'm afraid I must tell you "Whooaa, now. Hang on. We need to get a few things straight."
We've got a highly complicated and technical selection process, focused on koality control. Bear with me and gird your loins.
You see, to be a Shaker, you must...
- Not be a d!ck.
- Be an adult. (18+)
- Use Telegram. (Awesome chat app)
- Use ClashTrack. (Awesome war management website)
WHEW! Thank goodness that part's over.
Next question: How'd you fare? Can you comply with ALL FOUR of those koalifications?
....
Well, congratulations. Not only have you made it past the bear puns (don't worry - more are on their way).
You're still here. That means something. We have a connection. Allow me to telepathically send you the rules, term and conditions, technical deets and my
unbearable excitement for this clan. Please allow up to 5 seconds to receive the transmission.
....
In case all you heard was "
404: Transmission not found", you need to update your hyper-audio transfer protocol. But first, more about us:
#LQ2GVQYV
https://picoolio.net/images/2017/04/07/image1724c.jpg
We're a Level 12 US based back to back war clan! We have numerous extremely active players with max troops. (Yes, now you can use those fancy bowler tactics you've always wanted to try that you saw on Youtube!). We have a few international players (vi älskar svenkar!)
We donate. A lot. Our players are so active that you probably won't see what you missed in chat 32 minutes ago. (during US times!)
We're awesome. We promise if you don't laugh or receive 6 bear puns
per day you'll get your money back. (Note: we're an adult clan. This means everyone in the clan is 18+ and you are, too. That said, our humor can get a bit.. ahem.. vulgar.)
We win. We are a
42 winstreak, 35 perfect war group! (Current winstreak: ... whomp whomp. Just got reset back to 0 lol.)
50v50 WARS. Every 4th week. If you're in the clan, you're in The Big War! Huge scale battles; the crux of Clash of Clans. Definitely not for the French.
https://picoolio.net/images/2017/04/...treakf5fce.jpg
(Sample taken from our war log back in... June, I think? I can't lie to you, our winning streak has taken a bit of a hit with the new matchmaking update. We're trying our best to get back to where we were! Hoping to find people who are willing to put the clan first!)
If you want even MORE fun STC stuff to look at, we have a spiffy website you should check out!
http://shakethatclash.com/
Now, let's talk about you. (some more)
As we established, you're not a d!ck. Which is awesome.
You're also an adult. Congratulations on that. Sucks, doesn't it?
You have (or are willing to have/use) Telegram and ClashTrack. (Note: you do not have to download these applications immediately. You can check us out first, and we'll set you up with the deets when you're ready.)
-
https://telegram.org/apps is an awesome messaging app where it makes it easy to message clanmates outside of clan chat, and send Monty Python .gifs and Game of Thrones memes.
-
https://www.clashtrack.com/en/dashboard is what we use to organize base calling. We use a self calling system mostly, so you can cherry pick the base you want to hit with your most confident attack (We're looking at you, LaLooners). But occasionally, one of our leaders will set bases (can be rebutted!)
Now let's discuss a little more that we haven't already touched on...
You're active. We request and donate dozens of thousands of troops per month. We expect you to do the same. (Do it! Request bowlers for farming! You'll get 'em!)
You're TH8 or higher (or you PM me with an excellent application) And you're not rushed. We're veering away from engineered stuff and WOULD LOVE TO FIND MORE TH8, 9 and 10 ACCOUNTS TO HELP ROUND OUT OUR ROSTER!!!
You like bears.
If you're interested, be sure to mention my name (Luck) in the Request to Join message! This way, everyone will know that I'm the the best recruitment officer ;)
And it also prevents war spies. Which we, uhh, have absolutely no personal experience with.
Click the link below and it'll lead you straight to our front door!
#LQ2GVQYV
Happy looting!
https://picoolio.net/images/2017/04/20/Drake77bed.jpg 
