My rules on sugar and dairy crates are:
I will help you if:
1. you are in a jam. I look to see how much time you have left. If you have less than a few hours, you clearly are in a jam and so I will help how I can with sugar and/or dairy.
2. If you are a new-ish farm (30 and under usually). If I have it, I will help. I always got help as a little farm and so it is only right to pay it forward. :)
3. If you help me a lot then I help you with whatever you need regardless of what it is.
This is IF I have it. Lately I have been in a really bad sugar decline so no sugar boats get filled (sorry neighbors). I've been busy and can only get on 1 or 2 times a day so there's less sugar on my farm.
So that is how I tend to do things. I already have my captain III so the sugar boats always get sent away. Dairy stay if it's cheese and the other crates are easy. I am very choosy with my orders lol.
But it sounds like someone isn't practicing what they preach and so that's just dirty.
